Friday, October 14, 2005

The Second Lady

Most men carry around a small boy inside of them. It sort of just exists. Sometimes we do things and get into trouble with women. Women have a nurturing gene which means that they are generally sympathetic to small boys no matter where they are located. My problem started, as most problems do, rather innocently. I was sitting here one day and it suddenly occurred to me that God has just got to be a woman. I proceeded to post about my theory and the more I wrote, the bolder my comments got. Being a man, I naturally thought if I wasn’t struck down God sort of agreed. Sorry pal. I don’t know if my readers are up on women so here is a simple truth. Women handle things very subtly. If you are a man who has a girl friend, significant other, or is married you know what I mean. You would think that I, being a man, would be smart enough to realize if you irritate a woman who has designed the universe and has "life" experience from year 0 you could be asking for trouble big time. My present predicament sort of reminds me of what happened to the mythical gods that got out of line. You probably know how the story goes. One god irritates the other gods. The other gods gang up on the one god. Gods aren’t allowed to kill gods so they bring in a gorgeous chicky poo who was basically a chattel in those years and have the god fall in love with said chicky poo. The kicker is that if said god approaches said chicky poo in any way the god loses his eternity. A neat solution to a problem. If we modernize the story the now outstandingly gorgeous woman becomes a modern self sufficient woman well able to look after herself. What the second lady did was brought a soulmate into my life. That in itself isn’t bad, because, generally speaking, I can pine away with no one being the wiser. Unfortunately the second lady took it a step further. She went and switched on the modern woman’s soulmate gene. Here’s the kicker. If two soulmate genes are switched on, you now have two life forces zipping back and forth between two people. So now I’m in the old god position of look, communicate, but don’t touch plus the responsibility of looking after the innocent person’s life force. So here am I bathing away in the midst of someone’s tremendous life force, and walking around in a fog. Come to think about it, that ain’t a bad way to live!!! Maybe God thinks I’m going good after all!!

1 comment:

shyloh said...

Well I think god thinks you are doing a great job. Just be at peace with yourself. That is all that is required.