Tuesday, March 27, 2007

In A 100 Years????

Our universe naturally cycles through order, chaos and restoration. Our task, as occupants of the universe, is to keep everything in order including ourselves. To do it, we must manipulate the surrounding energy fields by thinking positive at all times as well as doing positive things. Positive thinking means that we must have positive thoughts. No can’t’s, do doubts, no regrets, no what if’s, could have’s, should have’s. Positive things means forgiving everyone in sight. Just believe that everyone is trying to do the best they can as they stumble around driving your crazy. Remember everyone isn’t as bright as you and everyone doesn’t have a grasp of the problem. Just be forgiving. I always ask myself " Does it really matter in 100 years?????" You will soon find that very few things fulfill that criteria.

Monday, March 19, 2007

25 Reasons Why True Love Is What It Is

True Love is never having to say you’re sorry.

True Love is never having to remember anything including birthdays.

True Love is never having to massage egos.

True Love is neglect.

True Love is ignoring one another.

True Love is full of faults.

True Love is I Am.

True Love is You Are.

True Love is Just Is.

True Love is Timeless

True Love is Forever

True Love is "1"

True Love is Separation From Oneself.

True Love is Desertion From Oneself.

True Love is Never Having To F**k With The Relationship.

True Love Never Lets Anyone Else F**k With The Relationship.

True Love lets you get emotional about everyone else.

True Love is unconditional.

True Love is selfless

True Love is organized, directed and run by God.

True Love lets you be yourself.

True Love has no boundaries

True Love is letting you miss someone else.

True Love is letting you be stupid.

True Love encourages dumb lists like this one.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Smile Prescription

Take two smiles and call me in the morning because:

1 The world generally smiles with you.

2 Everyone thinks that you see something on them that isn’t right.

3 If you smile in business meetings, everyone thinks you haven’t got a proper understanding of the problem.

4 Smile at your enemies because it drives them nuts.

5 Smile when being presented with a problem, because the presenter will think you’re hopelessly stupid and will leave you alone.

6 Smile when someone explains something to you, because they will start to think that it is a simple problem to understand and they should go work it out for themselves before they end up embarrassing themselves.

7 Smile and energy / spirits / God smile on / with you.

8 Smile and everyone thinks you’re up to something fun and slightly devious.

9 Smile and give some of your facial muscles a well deserved rest.

10 Smile and everyone thinks you can handle problems.

11 Smile and everyone leaves you alone because they think you’re nuts.

Saturday, March 10, 2007


Some people satisfy your physical and / or psychological needs. The physical is obvious like in nice Abs. The psychological is harder, because most of us don't know ourselves. That is why it's difficult to describe why you love someone, except in physical terms and motherhood statements.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

And It Came To Pass

In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream andMagnums..

And Satan said "You want hot fudge with that? and Man said"Yes!"

And Woman said "I'll have one too with chocolate chips".

And lo they gained 10 pounds.

And God created the healthy yogurt that woman might keep the figure that man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them.

And Woman went from size 12 to size 14.

So God said "Try my fresh green salad".

And Satan presented Blue Cheese, dressing and garlic croutons on the side.

And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said "I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them".

And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped lobster chunks and chicken fried steak, so big it needed its own platter, and Man's cholesterol went through the roof.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition.

Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt.

And Man put on more pounds.

God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose those extra pounds.

And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels.

And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.

Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created McDonalds and the $1.35 double cheeseburger.

Then Satan said "You want fries with that?" and Man replied "Yes, And supersize 'em".

And Satan said "It is good." And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed ......... and created quadruple by-pass surgery.

And then ............ Satan chuckled and created HMO’s / health rules /regulations / do nothing legislation and under funded health care.


After an exhaustive statistical analysis based on the following research:

Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks.

Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks.

Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks.

Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks.

Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks.

The French bathe in wine and suffer fewer heart attacks.

speaking English is apparently what kills you.