Friday, February 25, 2005

Yeah, Baby!!!!

I was watching a baby eating and suddenly realized that a baby holds all the hints we require for success. A baby has sucking, slurping ,drooling and pooping skills. I mean, lets get real, in order to be successful you have to suck up to anyone that can affect your progress / career. How many lies have you told to advance your goals???? Slurping is just an unrefined way of ego stroking your superior whatever which is necessary for success as we are all a bag of insecurity. Drooling tells everyone that baby has goals and objectives in life. How many times have you drooled over something / someone??? Random pooping is a precursor to general sloppiness which gives your manager, superior, lover, a warm feeling of purpose in a chaotic and random world. Even our music gets involved. Isn’t there even a song out there with the words "Sucking up is hard to do"????

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Waste Not, Wasted, Wasted Life

Life is very confusing. When you’re young and impressionable, your mother tells you to waste not. This generally means to eat up whatever is in front of you or in other words clean up your plate. It usually is accompanied by a lecture from your mother on the fact that other parts of the world are starving. I don’t quite understand why cleaning up your plate helps the starving world now that I’m older and have time to think about it. I suppose it lessens your feeling of guilt in as much as you’re not letting food go to waste that the starving would never get to eat in the first place. It also makes your mother very happy which is good because you will eventually learn that when mother is unhappy everyone is unhappy!!! You grow older and develop your social skills. This part of your life is diametrically opposed to what you’ve been taught. To be socially acceptable in this new environment you have to get Wasted. This primarily involves stuffing your mouth with bilious liquids and food of dubious origin until you can barf an awe inspiring distance!! If you are lucky enough to have a girl friend her facial expressions are directly proportional to your barfing distance. That is one meaningful way of knowing if you are socially acceptable to your same gendered friends. It is also helpful socially to get together with your Best Buds and lie like hell to each other to the point that whatever you hold dear becomes "fact" (The Big Lie) in our lives. Later on when we become socially and economically obsolete we get together with our Best Buds, drink lots of beer when mixed with a lack of energy, coupled with a tendency to let it all hang out, and we’re mentally too old to care you find out that we are all liars, are stuck in the same boat, and nobody has any solutions!! On the old Bell curve the egotistical, immodest, flamboyant Wasters are at the top 1/6th of the old Bell Curve, the bottom 1/6th never clued in to the concept of Wasted and the middle 2/3rds of the Wasted muddled through as usual!!

Sunday, February 20, 2005

3 Again

I don’t want to bore anyone any more than necessary but away back when in one of my blogs I was advancing the theory that this universe is based on the number 3. For instance, we have 3 dimensions, length, width and height. Three strikes and you’re out. Things, good or bad, usually happen in 3’s. Most discussions have 3 major points. Traffic lights usually have 3 lights, red for stop, yellow for caution and green for go. You are usually given 3 chances to accomplish something. Most people can only remember 3 things on a list. The triangle, consisting of 3 sides is the strongest form of construction. The people you know in your life can be classified as acquaintances, friends and soulmates. If you organize a speech, tell them what you are going to say, say it and tell them what you said. I was staring at a list of whole numbers which are numbers that don’t have any fractions such as 337, 59 ,149, 7919 and it hit me. If you chose any random whole number such as 337, 59, 149 or 7919 and do the following something interesting happens:
337: Add the digits in the number 337 which are (3+3+7=13). Subtract 13 from 337 (337-13 = 324). Add the digits in 324 (3+2+4 = 9). The square root of 9 is 3 or (3X3=9)
59: Add the digits in the number 59 which are (5+9=14). Subtract 14 from 59 (59-14 = 45). Add the digits in 45 (4+5) = 9). The square root of 9 is 3 or (3X3=9).
149: Add the digits in the number 149 which are (1+4+9=14). Subtract 14 from 149 (149-14 = 135). Add the digits in 135 (1+3+5 = 9). The square root of 9 is 3 or (3X3=9).
7919: Add the digits in the number 7919 which are (7+9+1+9=26). Subtract 26 from 7919 (7919-26 = 7893). Add the digits in 7893 (7+8+9+3 = 27). Add the digits in 27 (2+7 = 9). The square root of 9 is 3 or (3X3=9).
Interesting Wot???

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Magical 9

I’ve been trying to find a shortcut for calculating primes without much luck. All I’ve managed to discover so far is that a possible prime number has 1, 3, 7, and 9 as its’ last digit. In the process, I have discovered something fascinating about the number 9. As a matter of blog history away back when I was advancing the theory that this universe is based on the number 3. For instance, we have 3 dimensions, length, width and height. Three strikes and you’re out. Things, good or bad, usually happen in 3’s. Most discussions have 3 major points. Traffic lights usually have 3 lights, red for stop, yellow for caution and green for go. You are usually given 3 chances to accomplish something. Most people can only remember 3 things on a list. The triangle, consisting of 3 sides is the strongest form of construction. The people you know in your life can be classified as acquaintances, friends and soulmates. If you organize a speech, tell them what you are going to say, say it and tell them what you said. On to number 9. If you select any random whole number greater than 9 such as 18, 1000, 46 or 101 for example and do the following you will always end up with 9.
Number 18 has the digits 1 and 8, 1+8 = 9. Subtract 9 from 18 (18 - 9 = 9) (3X3 =9).
Number 1000 has the digits 1 and 3 zeros, 1+0+0+0 = 1. Subtract 1 from 1000 (1000 - 1 = 999), (9 +9 +9 =27), (2+7 = 9) (3X3 =9).
Number 46 has the digits 4 and 6, 4+6 = 10. Subtract 10 from 46 (46 - 10 = 36), (3+6=9), (3X3 =9).
Number 101 has the digits 1,0,1 and 1+0+1=2. Subtract 2 from 101 (101 - 2 = 99), (9+9=18), (1+8=9) (3X3 =9).
Try it yourself. You will find that the number 3 is the root of our number system based on 10.