Friday, May 27, 2005

So What’s The Plot ????

Why are you here when it’s all said and done??? What’s your purpose / function in the scheme of things?? Are you part of the problem or part of the solution???? If your life is preordained even though you have Freedom Of Choice then what’s the plot???? If you accept God into your life, then what does he / she want you to do??? God doesn’t exactly give you a daily itinerary / briefing because he / she gave you a brain to figure things out and ears to listen. God has also arranged to have a holy book assembled which contains story hints and commandment instructions. God has arranged for men / women to give sermons / advice, to guide us when things get out of kilter. God has given you Freedom Of Choice for the minor issues / inconsequential things providing you do the major stuff for him. There’s also good Consequences if you get it right and bad Consequences if you get off kilter. There’s also an element of Randomness to relieve boredom. Sounds simple in principle providing you listen / think!!!! So let’s get with the program!!!

Monday, May 23, 2005

Bad Timing, Bad Consequences, Bad Butterfly Effect

One of life’s stressors has got to be bad timing. You meet a potential significant other and find out he / she is married, engaged or into someone else. You back your car out of a parking spot and into the side of another car. You’re in the wrong place at the wrong time. Various wars are another example of the wrong place / wrong time phenomena. You take a vacation at a lovely location that has a future tsunami. Anyway you get the picture. Sometimes, you make a decision based on the say so of someone, who on the surface, appears to be carrying a full load. A classic example is the eating of the apple in the Garden Of Eden. Satan comes along and casts some doubt, " Did God actually say you mustn’t eat any fruit in the garden??" The text is to the effect that God, being reasonable and the creator of the Garden Of Eden, wouldn’t put anything harmful in it. The subtext is "You must be really stupid to think that God would have made that statement." Satan then goes on to say " God knows that your eyes will be opened when you eat it." The text is to the effect that God’s going to open your eyes anyway, so why not now as opposed to later??? The subtext is to the effect that God isn’t going to get mad at you for showing / having some initiative. Of course, God is mad at you and tosses you out. So what actually happened??? Why did Adam and Eve eat the apple??? Was it that Adam and Eve wanted to be like God??? Were Adam and Eve really thinking ??? Were Adam and Eve just curious??? Were Adam and Eve ignoring instructions??? Did God, as Manager of The Garden Of Eden, effectively communicate to his subordinates the consequences of eating the apple??? Should God have carried the can in this instance as a part of his / her management function / style and forgiven Adam and Eve. Is God operating in a hierarchical autocratic management style that should have been collaborative and organized around teamwork?? What say you MBA student / University School Of Management / Business???? The Bad Butterfly Effect is that the rest of us are carrying the can because of either Adam and Eve’s failure to follow adequately expressed instructions or alternately Management’s fit of pique. Do you think it is fair????

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Just Keep The Faith Baby

I’ve a theory that God has organized this universe on the number 3. I don’t know why he / she did it but I suspect that he / she thought that most people had the ability to count to 3. I realize that nothing in this world is 100% so the remainder, like me, have to "Just Keep The Faith". I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m one that can’t take any chances. That’s the reason I’ve accepted God into my life. For instance, in our 3 dimensional world we have 3 conditions, Randomness, Order, and Chaos. Randomness or its’ handmaiden Random chance is something that happens out of the Blue, when you’re minding your P’s and Q’s, and whacks you on the side of the head. Occasionally Random Chance will play with you, and even run you around a little bit before letting go. Sometimes it will even take a bite out of your ass. Order is something we all understand. Most things that we eat, drink, walk on, use, are completely reliable or never change as long as we pay attention to the "Before Date". Chaos is something we cope with every day. Things fall apart, get old, don’t work, fall off, don’t perform like boy friends, girl friends, managers, career, dreams etc.. Anyway, you get the picture. Since I’ve accepted God into my life I’ve had to watch that I don’t annoy him / her. This "watching" has become paranoia!! For instance am I doing things for the right reasons??? To add to my difficulty God doesn’t give me a plan for the day. His / her basic attitude, is "I gave you a brain, so use it!!" Like why am I writing this post. To show off??? Take a chance at annoying God??? Who knows??? Most of the time I just do "things". Like man, I’m on automatic pilot!! Maybe I’m helping God accomplish something by writing this post. Unfortunately, he / she never discusses anything with me before putting some plan into gear. I think I’m just a Private in God’s army. I signed up for something and even though I intrinsically don’t want to volunteer he / she just goes ahead and uses my talents. I got to admit it’s kind of fun. The assignments are interesting and I don’t have to carry the "can". Heck I enjoy it. The benefits are good. I got into some situations which were due to my own stupidity. He / she arranged events and circumstances to get me out of it with a little sweat equity on my part. I don’t think that I’ll do it again!! My mantra is "Just Keep The Faith Baby!!"

Thursday, May 19, 2005

It’s Time Again

Scientists have been looking for something called the Theory of Everything. The Theory of Everything is supposed to be able to explain everything that exists in this universe with a little equation tweaking. I suspect that The Theory of Everything is linked to the fundamental concept that Time is a wave that cannot be subdivided into elements or particles. Time can also be visualized as a multidimensional dinner plate that carries events, space, energy, particles, on its’ surface. Time is similar to a tectonic dinner plate that carries continents and oceans around on earth. Time on a universe scale carries the planets and galaxies around on universal dinner plates. If Time is to hold events, space, energy, particles, on its’ surface then it has to have quantum gravity and as the galaxy is expanding then the plates have to have a quantum repulsive force. Quantum Time Gravity has yet to be observed but I suspect that it is around 1/EXP(137) or 3.17436E-60 which I explained in a previous posting. The quantum repulsive force between individual Time Plates is about 1.01043E-60 which will be explained in a future posting. The Time Plates obtain their quantum repulsive energy by taking the energy binding the events, space, energy, particles together on its’ surface and using the obtained quantum energy for expansion. This taking of quantum energy from the Time Plate surface causes chaos or deterioration on the Time Plate surface which we all have experienced in one way or another. Although each Time Plate is separate, it does have the same quantum gravity and therefore we have the illusion on a universal scale that Gravity travels faster than light but in actual fact it is always part of a Time Plate and to state the obvious doesn’t travel unless particles move on the individual Time Plate. Rapid acceleration temporarily deforms the Time Plate and relativistic velocity deforms the Time Plate creating the illusion of a Quantum Gravity Wave. Observers on different Time Plates see things happening on other Time Plates exactly the same way because Quantum Time Plate Gravity is consistent for each plate and carries the information to the observer at the same speed from the deforming Time Plate. This concept is similar to Einstein’s "Frames".

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Too Late

I woke up this morning with the horrible feeling that I was born too late and everything has already been said. Here’s some examples:

Inside every old lady is a younger lady. I often wonder what the hell happened between young and old !!!

Inside every woman lives a skinny woman crying to get out. I can only solve that problem by throwing cookies.

The hardest years in life are those between ten and whatever age you happen to be at the moment.

I just discovered my eyebrows have dropped to my chin.

Things are going to get a lot worse before they deteriorate beyond repair.

A male gynecologist is not an asshole, but equivalent to an auto mechanic who never owned a car.

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with everyone to whom you owe money.

My second favorite chore is cleaning. My first favorite household chore is ironing. My favorite way of finding relief from both chores is hitting my head on the bottom of the top bunk bed until I faint.

Old age ain't no confidence builder.

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woe-man usually does what man can’t do which is usually everything.

The phrase "working mother" is redundant.

Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the windows and breaks the panes in the process.

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.

I try to take one day at a time -- but sometimes several days attack me at once.

If you can't be a good example -- then you'll just have to settle for being a horrible warning.

When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME slow!

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb -- and to be safe I don’t dye my hair blonde.

If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Creativity, Art & Life

Show me the man / woman that hasn’t made mistakes and I’ll show you the man / woman that hasn’t done anything!! Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is the ability to know which ones to keep!!! Everyone is stressed these days. Everyone is obsessed with doing things. There is a noble art of getting things accomplished but there is also a noble art of leaving things undone. Life’s trick is being able to tell the difference and leaving the useless stuff alone.