Saturday, April 02, 2005

String Theory

A philosopher is defined as someone who has lots of ideas but no mathematical ability. A mathematician is defined as someone who has few ideas but does have the ability to move mathematical symbols around in interesting and provocative ways. It could all be nonsense but who cares. Besides it’s fun. The mathematicians have been struggling with something called The Theory Of Everything. The Theory Of Everything says that everything has started from one equation which can be modified to produce an equation for everything in our universe. So far limited luck, so I thought I’d help them out. The universe is based on the number 3 and all mathematic calculations can be reduced to the number 9 as I’ve outlined in previous postings. It is logical because 3 X 3 = 9. The quantum universe is based on statistics. In other words you have an equal chance, statistically, of 3 states of confusion, a yes, a no, and a maybe. Maybe is the illusion that something might have happened but you aren’t sure. Something like meeting a pant, pant girl going down the street who smiles seductively at you whose primary challenge in life is dealing with low self esteem. Did it actually happen or are you hallucinating???? The big deal in quantum theory is Strings. Socially, we intuitively understand strings. How many boys can pant, pant girl string together and make them all vibrate in interesting and provocative ways??? If you do it right you can "make" things. "Made" things "vibrate" naturally at different frequencies. If you have a basic grasp of sex you will intuitively understand this concept. Strings, like good dimensionless sex, seems to go on forever. Like man, Time stops, a concept that gets mathematicians and physicists "excited". Pant, pant girl can join her boy toy "strings" and make "waves". Each boy toy can be "measured" and his "position" determined statistically as long as you don’t "touch" anything. It seems that "touching" throws off everything and leads to inaccurate results. Since mathematicians are a dignified bunch they have renamed this approach "particle physics". Isn’t String Theory wonderful????

1 comment:

city rocker said...

when we name things, we take away their meaning. sex is often dimensionless because we are always trying to define it. as is the universe. if we stop asking why, and just accept life for what it is, we would be idiots. but if we try to understand the world through equations, we are simply proving our own clulessness. because we are, in essence, trying to define an abstract event through concrete thought...a paradox in action. hence, I am a philosopher, not a mathematician.