Monday, March 28, 2005

Some Little Buggers

One of the things that bugged me most about growing up was my parent’s incessantly asking me three questions:

What did you do when you went out?
What did you do today??
What did you learn today???

My life is dull, dull, dull. It has always been dull. I was born dull and dullness is my prime accomplishment in life. I think my life will fill about 3 - ½ page e-mails. That is why those three questions always drove me nuts. In answer to the "What did you do when you went out?" question I’ve wanted to say that "I robbed a bank." or "I held up a candy store." My mother’s response would have been "That’s nice, dear." "What did you do today" was a somewhat harder question. If I had been fast on my feet I’d have said that I had helped Einstein with his equation for nuclear energy or helped Edison with his light bulb. My mother’s response would have been a lecture on why I should help out other’s less fortunate that I. The "What did you learn today?" brought on a slightly different reaction. It would remind me of the time in French Literature Class when the teacher asked me in French "Where did the birds go??" I responded in French that "They had flown south." which had absolutely nothing to with the story. Fortunately, for my self esteem the rest of the class was as dense as I and nobody laughed. My teacher’s were all big forbidding creatures from some world I could never understand and never comprehend. I recall that they all began class by saying "I am the LORD thy God…Thou shalt have no other gods before you for the next 40 minutes!!!

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