Wednesday, April 27, 2005

My Face Fell Off

My face fell off. To make matters worse I can’t remember which face brought me the most mileage. For instance, there’s my management face, my Joe Cool face, my sophisticated / come hither chicky poo face, my sincere / concerned face, my ambitious face, my career face, and my lover’s face which co-ordinates nicely with both my Zoot Suit and my Lizard Lounge / Leisure Larry Suits. I’ve changed faces so many times I don’t know the "real" me. I read somewhere that you should "Know Thyself First". Good luck on that one!!! Do you really know what you’re like when all the facial paint is scraped off??? Fortunately, we can’t read each other’s mind so you can project any image you want. My advice for success is to lie like hell !!! It usually works because most of us are reasonably competent on a day to day basis and if you aren’t too abnormal, eyeball wise, most people will ignore you. Also generalize like hell!! Many a man or woman has skewered themselves by going into too much detail. Maintain that sophisticated, know it all look without saying anything relevant attitude at all costs. It also helps if a man smokes a pipe. The man, sucking up on a pipe, will look sophisticated. Men basically have a way of looking naturally sophisticated and abnormally clever when sucking up. If you get good at sucking up you will go far in the business world because, unbelievable as it seems, your manager has even more insecurities than you since he’s fearful of loosing his leadership position at any moment. A lady should smoke a cigarillo. There is something about ½ mast female eyelids that convey a sense of sophistication and mystery to the average Joe Cool. Eyelids at ½ mast are also practical. They prevent watery eyes which, needless to say, dulls the sophisticated worldly deja vu effect. The only problem is that you should maintain some consistency for your friends. If you don’t, your friends will get confused as 99% of what you are to them is what they can eyeball!! Also avoid blogging at all costs. Putting anything in writing is a potential downer. You’ll have to jump through hoops to spin your words in a logical and sincere way!! Unfortunately, in your panic to fill your blog your writing tends to fill with "what ifs". After awhile, you’ll start to take a thought or theme and explore it to its' Nth degree. This is off putting to your friends. They will start to think that you are losing what few marbles you possess or even worse partaking in the less acceptable social mores. Some will even worry that your personality is falling apart and you’re no longer "normal". When you think about it we're all complex creatures and whether or not what we write is the real "us", who knows, and especially in some cases the writer doesn’t even know because he / she gets fascinated by the words and forgets the "thought". I guess way down deep down under our "face" we are all crazy mixed up kids!!!

3 comments:

Jane said...

ah faces... I'm going to have to get back to you on this one, I haven't really found my face it's lingering somewhere under Kate Moss'. But I do love faces they are so complex and beautiful and ugly and lovely all at the same time. When I think of a fantastic face I think of D's. So much expression so much reading... Pick your face up from the floor whatever one you want silly man! I'd suggest the "thinker face". There was one more thing, but now I'm thinking about faces... I find not lying but leaving things out is always a fun way to confuse people. I'm reading Dorian Gray for school so maybe in a bit I'll get back to you more intellectually about faces... It's Oscar Wilde so it's going to have a few opinions...

good luck with your face
xxxo

Kate Da Great! said...

Part of the fun of life is playing diferent parts. How boring would it be to be the same face all of your life? Not only would you be bored...but your friends would be bored with you. As for lieing and decieving people with your many faces...its good advice for professionals. Letting your feelings interefere with your career is damaging, and trying to show to an authority figure that you are a person, not only an employee/student/citizen never works....they see past 'you' and see the rules. And finally, I think that if we were all born knowing exactly who we were, then we'd have nothing to do in life...we'd have nothing to figure out besides academic stuff, and we'd have nothing to write about. To quote the fairly odd parents 'my heart she is happy, but my art she will suffer'...how colourless and dull would life be if we all came with the knowlegdge of what your post is about?

city rocker said...

ah, the cig smoking face...anyone can go anywhere with that face. it's like the cell phone face. we can all look good when we are occupied.