Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Whose On First

A lot of men, including myself, don’t have a clue about woe - men. Unfortunately, that deficit doesn’t stop me from giving advice. First of all there’re three kinds of relationships, acquaintances, friends and soulmates. Most people have an intuitive grasp of acquaintances. These are the people that you may have to endure because of economic / social considerations or because they are friends of people you "like". They, still, no matter how hard you try, leave you with a "blah" feeling. Friend relationships are a little tougher. You can essentially have three grades of friends. Blah plus limited interest, blah plus middling interest, and best friends to whom you bear your guts and who are very close to soulmates. Soulmates are a little trickier. Whether or not you appreciate / like it, we all have Souls. Our Soul seems to have more on the ball than our three dimensional persona having been through several incarnations. After all, you can’t beat experience!! If our Soul doesn’t like our best friend you’re up the proverbial creek without a paddle.

Here are some hints:

Being A Nice Guy - Women like a "nice" guy. Being a "nice" guy means you will at least have a 1st date. No woman wants her friends to obviously know she can’t pick men. They may suspect it but why should you confirm it???

Convince Her To Like You - Silly Boy!! If you can’t convince your sister what makes you think you convince a date??

Approval Or Permission - Do you let your mother run your life??? Same principle, Dumkof!!
Food & Gifts - Hey dopey you have to convince the Soul. Does a Soul eat??? Hey get with the program!!!

Telling her "How You Feel" too early - Why confirm what she has psyched out on her own???

Telling Her She Is Attractive - Are you nuts??? She knows it already. Do you go out with ugly women????

Money & Looks - Don’t forget the effects of gravity over time. Everything sags including the Wallet!!

Giving Away Your Power - On the first date??? Have you no standards??? Wait until you’re married!!! It’ll happen naturally over time you Wuz!!

Not Getting Help - Do you think I’m stupid??? I’ve read Vogue too!!!


Jane said...

HA HA! Did I enjoy this... Some connection because the boy with a sweet smile just told me he'd have to make our date later... in the day but come on man (we've been eyeing each other for four weeks and the last three briefly talking) - you should give him a little talking to tell him that a girl won't hold on forever even if you play guitar.

Sk8RN said...

Very cute.