I got to thinking about relationships again. Excluding true love which involves the mind meld of two people on a soul to soul level thus creating a soulmate, the most frequent relationship involves the desire to change the other person. Good Luck!! Most changes only involve the external eyeball things like getting them to bath, change their shirt, underwear and pants regularly and to comb / brush their hair to a reasonable standard. In other words the same thing any mother would do to raise a child. Effecting internal changes, like attitude, social propensities, tendency to violence, etc. can only be made internally by the affected person. The problem is most people with a problem don’t know they have a problem. They have always been thus and so and have managed their way through life reasonably successfully. If we realize we have a problem most of us don’t know how to change it. Yeah, I know that statement sounds silly but in reality beyond motherhood statements like "I will try harder" or "I didn’t realize I was doing that" most of us cannot manage an effective change. The basic reason is that we don’t know the source of the problem in our prior life experience beyond a guess if someone presses us. The other problem is that our mind develops certain responses to situations that are similar to our negative prior life experience and that reaction kicks in automatically in response to anything that is remotely similar. Lastly to add to the fun most of us can’t recognize the automatic response when it happens!! In other words our normality is someone else’s abnormality!!