Is That You Alphonse???

Everything in this universe seems to consist of particles, strings and waves. If this is true, then Time must also consist of particles, strings and waves. The question, therefore, arises that if Time consists of particles, strings, and waves it can be manipulated. Needless to say, our civilization doesn’t have a clue about the manipulation of Time. To add to the fun while everything may consist of particles, strings and waves, things only manifest themselves consistently in one form. For instance, you and I normally appear as a particle which the English language has named man / woman. Time in our universe usually appears as a dimensionless Time String of energy which holds particles, energy and events together. Gravity is a similar phenomena because even though it has characteristics of a particle, string or wave it only appears as a dimensionless Gravity String that attaches particles, strings and waves to a Graviton particle. The question arises if Time has a particle form can we go back in Time if we learn to manipulate Time Particles??? Secondly if we can go back in Time, can we kill our parents and by extension kill ourselves??? In answer to the first question there is no reason that we can’t learn to manipulate Time and Gravity particles. The answer to the second question is tougher. It is quite possible that we also exist as a particle, string and wave. Therefore it seems to me that if we go back in Time we can see ourselves as a particle, string or wave but we can’t change anything because our "Space" has changed. For instance, in quantum theory, we can have multiple states of any object which in this case is a particle called you and me. For example, an electron can exist simultaneously in different orbits / spaces which is a fact upon which the laws of chemistry / quantum theory is based. If flying saucers do exist, it is possible that they come from other civilizations that are intellectually light years ahead of us. They drop in on us to see what we’re up to from time to time or alternately to see what the devil we are up to when we set off nuclear bombs. I guess it is equivalent to coming across an ant hill. Would you bend down to the ants and give them trinkets, books, medicine, and power or would you have the strange urge to step on a few of them? Oh yeah, before I forget, don't turn someone away who knocks at your door one day, asks if it is Alphonse, and then claims to be your future great-great-great granddaughter. She may be right!!!

May Be

Life is nothing but a big "may be", but it is a big "maybe" whether we "may" sit on our duffs or get out and "be". Whether we like it or not, as in we can’t do anything about it, we all live in a universe in which randomness, order, and chaos are trying to get the upper hand in our lives. Randomness is the antithesis of Free Will. There are plenty of examples in history, such as war, where someone choose to exercise their "Free Will" which started a series of seemingly random events that lead to unforeseen events which is summarized in "The Law Of Unforeseen Consequences". Order is perhaps the most important aspect of our lives. We’re forever cleaning up after something or getting organized to do something. We get some help from the "Law Of Threes" which states that: "Everything, including events, tends to stabilize around the prime number 3." In previous posts I have tried to show that mathematics clusters around the number 9 which is just an exotic form of 3 as in (3 X 3 = 9). Chaos has the last laugh. Everything tends to fall apart. We all age, we all tend to disintegrate as in getting sick, injured or what have you. Everyone’s life is essentially the same in principle, even though our individual adventures and burdens may be different. When you go out the door, deciding to walk or take the bus randomness could change your life. Maybe a car will jump the curb and kill you. Maybe you'll get on the bus and glance around and you'll meet the eyes of someone else whom you cannot help but talk to, and you'll fall in love. All that - two life-altering situations - all because of a simple choice of how to reach your destination. Randomness, order and chaos forces you to live your life. Randomness, order and chaos are equal opportunity aggravations . You can sit there, moan and groan and still get it on the chin or you can get out and do something, anything, experiment for God’s sake. Life is meant to be lived. If you're not happy where you are, change it. Whether you've got the money to get out of there comfortably, or you've got to work odd jobs along the way to keep yourself going, go for your dreams. Sure randomness, order and chaos will be your traveling companions but don’t forget the Fickle Finger Of Fate may give you your dream. If it means staying where you are and changing jobs, or leaving the country or continent, do it. Randomness, order and chaos may delay you but they aren’t going to stop you. You've got to pick yourself up and keep going no matter what and plant yourself where you want to be - where you need to be. Then, and only then, will you be happy or at least, if nothing else, happier than you were before. So, if you find yourself on the roof of a tall building standing on the parapet, wondering if your greatest gift to civilization or what passes for it is to jump, just remember that most of us have been there done that if only in our imaginations because we lacked your guts to jump before our journey was completed!!

Right Stuff

How do you know that your potential soulmate / significant other has the right stuff??? You think that you’ve found your soulmate /significant other but how can you be sure??? Can / will this potential life partner have the where withal to go the distance?? He / she seems to meet all your friend’s external criteria as far as "What’s ‘right’ for you. You read somewhere that true love comes from the soul. The vaguely recalled article said that your soulmate would rather sacrifice himself / herself for your success / happiness then worry excessively about his / her wants and needs. Your potential soulmate probably appears to be a Wuz because he / she isn’t controlling / intimidating or appears to be excessively concerned about their career, clothing or in some cases personal hygiene. He / she leaves the major decisions up to you. He / she is always quite agreeable with what you decide. You find all this stuff very off putting but in the dark of night just before the clock strikes 12:00 midnight you realize that you like it in spite of his / her wuzzy personality. If you still don’t believe your good luck, here are some 3 tests:

Take dancing lessons with your soulmate. If you are still speaking after the lessons you are in love.

Renovate a house. If you are still speaking after the decisions on decorating / room design / negligent / incompetent / non showing contractors then you are in love.

Live with your potential soulmates / significant other’s relatives in as small a room as possible. If done properly you will find that your potential soulmate / significant other will revert to small child behaviour in front of his parents. It is essential that the experiment be reversed. You and your significant / potential soulmate live in a small room with your parents. You will find that you too will revert to small child behaviour in front of your parents.

If you can still stand each other, you are in love, my friend!!!!

Intelligent Design and Creationism

There is a debate going on in some parts of the world about intelligent design and creationism. Creationism or creation science promotes the idea that there is scientific evidence to validate the biblical story. Who knows for sure?? In those days few people could read or write with the result that most information was conveyed in the form of stories or song which began to suffer from inaccuracies the longer the stories and songs were repeated. In addition, you had the problem that people’s grasp of science was more in the magic area than in scientific thought. Intelligent Design promotes the idea that the complexity of nature is such that strictly random forces didn’t have the sophistication to produce human development. I don’t think the two views are necessary incompatible. It may be that God originally created man and woman and placed them in the equivalent of a Garden of Eden but something went wrong. The essence of the story then came down in all beliefs and religions in terms that the people could intuitively grasp. I’m a believer in Intelligent Design. While this universe is a mixture of randomness, order and chaos, it seems to me that someone had to set up the underlining process so randomness, order and chaos could function with reasonable efficiency. God, for lack of a better word, seems to have organized this world using the number 3. My previous posts have tried to articulate this argument in various forms. Without boring the hell out of you, you have:

Particles, energy, processes linked by a Time String.

Events such as deaths occurring in groups of 3

Length, width and height - 3 dimensions.

Natural clustering in groups of 3’s.

Prime Numbers connected to logarithms based on 9 (3 X 3 = 9)

Time Strings

We normally think of Time as something that marks the beginning, duration and the end of something. A Time String is a dimensionless form of energy which holds particles, energy and processes together in a 3 dimensional world. A Time String permits you and I to exist together in the same universe. The Time String also extends from our universe into other universes. In this mode, it attracts events, usually in groups of 3 over relatively short periods of Time. If you and I didn’t exist in a world held together by Time Strings then we would each exist alone. The Time Strings, carrying particles, energy and processes interact with other Time Strings to form waves. Time Strings in the form of waves flow in an outward direction expanding this universe as it drags everything in this universe with it. Time, as a wave, needs energy to expand which it takes from the individual Strings holding other particles, energy and processes together. This means that the expanding Time Wave has the ability to tear everything apart causing it to deteriorate, grow old, stop working, fall apart or fall off.

In This Universe, Strings Are A Three Node Chain

Here’s the poop on String Theory. This universe is based on three node chains consisting of particles, energy and processes. Over the millennia we have developed lots of words to define particles, energy and processes. Particles can be people or structures. Energy can be events. Processes can be anything that transforms something into something else. Events, people and structures come together or are linked in groups or strings of 3 things. For instance, plane crashes and celebrity deaths usually happen in groups of 3. Our associates come in 3 flavors, acquaintances, friends and soulmates. The strongest form of construction is anything that uses triangles which is a 3 sided figure. An electronic device running on a 3 volt battery or batteries adding to 3 volts will last the longest. Mathematics is based on the number 3. If you take any random number more than 1 digit, whether it is a whole number, fraction or decimal, and add all the digits using the following process you end up with 3. For instance taking 137 which has the digits 1, 3, 7, and adding them (1 + 3 + 7 = 11) you get 11. Subtract 11 from 137 (137 - 11 = 126) and you get 126. Add the digits for 126 (1 + 2 + 6 = 9) and you get 9. 3 X 3 equals 9. The square root of 9 is 3 (3 X 3 = 9). 126 / 9 = 14. Any number N when divided by 9 or 3 after using this process leaves a number (quotient) without any fractions. We live and can travel in 3 dimensions known as length, width and height. Any Prime Number will have a 1, 3, 7 or 9 in the first (1’s) column ( 11, 13, 17, 19). You will see that 3 and 9 are in this list. 3 X 3 = 9. The difference between 1 and 7 (7 - 1 = 6) is 6. 2 X 3 = 6. One of the great unsolved mysteries is how many Primes precede any chosen number. For instance if you choose 229 how many prime numbers precede it??? It turns out that if you take the log of 229 to the base 9 (2.472993457) and multiply it by 20 you get (2.472993457 X 20 = 49.45986914) which is a close approximation to the actual position prime 229 occupies which is in the 51st position. It takes some tweaking on the final multiplier, however, depending on how accurate you want the answer, you basically take the log of that number to base 9 and experiment with a multiplier.

Here’s The Law Of Strings:

Everything in this universe tends to cluster in three node groupings held together by 1 string.

Extreme Sports

The ultimate extreme sport is the game of business as played in the western world. A group of people form a team to make money in competition with other teams . The players on the team aren’t loyal to the team. The players must find ways to screw their team members while making money. If a player can screw the other players he / she is rewarded points in the form of an increase in prestige, salary and benefits. The increase in prestige is denoted by a title so the other team members won’t get confused as to who is getting ahead. With the title, comes a call for the losers to become team players. This strategy is effective as it obscures the rules of the sport which has no rules. The team players are now obligated to destroy the screwing player’s advantage of a title, salary and benefits. True competitiveness demands that this action be taken subtly because of the screwing player’s ability to substitute players on the team. Needless to say this means you can’t be a winner if you are substituted. Effective measures for the losers is to work to rule, misinterpret policies and directives, delay implementation and generally lie like hell with a sincere look of concern. The screwing player protects his / her position by not communicating and then claiming the losing players aren’t on the ball. Successful avoidance of responsibility has its’ own rewards. If done with finesse you are marked as someone with potential. You may be rapidly promoted if you can lay the blame on someone else, thereby slowing his or her advancement. On the surface, it would appear that the players would advance forever making millions, however, this isn’t true. Each player’s position in the hierarchy is based on his ability to manipulate the system at that stage. Ultimately, any player will find that he / she has reached his / her potential, but doesn’t have the ability to advance due to lack of ability, bad luck or any other random reason. Looking at the competency to advance situation, one could say that each player has reached his level of incompetence which in time engulfs all members of the organization. Thus the team fails to continue to make money and is eliminated from the tournament.

Project Stages

Management books are only written to motivate the drudges with promises of stardom. Here’s the real poop!!

1. Euphoria

Initial anticipation. Here is the project that will advance your career / make you famous and win you the Nobel Peace Prize. If it is a significant other here is Mr. / Ms. Flawless.

2. Stark Realization

The project is staffed by fools. You’re the only one that has the big picture. The project is under budgeted. If a significant other Mr. / Ms. Flawless isn’t.

3. Universal Depression

The sudden dawning on you that this project could reverse your career and even get you fired. If a significant other, Mr. / Ms Flawless has more irritating habits than the Mr. / Ms. Flawless you dumped.

4. Finger Pointing and Recriminations

Can I get out of this project without damaging my career??? Where’s the poor smuck that I can lay the blame on??? If Mr. / Ms. Flawless, how can I get rid of him / her and still have a plausible reputation??? Can’t my parents see that Mr. / Ms. Flawless isn’t right for me!!

5. Bailing Out

I have to find a reason to leave the project before everyone else realizes it is a ball / career breaker. If Mr. / Ms. Flawless, where’s my "Excuse Book"??? The last time, I told Mr. / Ms. Flawless that I carried a recessive gene for antisocial / unpredictable behaviour. It worked.

6. Depression

My timing got all screwed up. Everyone jumped before me. I look like I’m not a team player. Mr. / Ms. Flawless told me that he / she loves me and understands me. God, can’t I get anything right??? Where’s my meth???

7. Denying that you were there.

I’m beginning to see and hear things. My psychiatrist says that I imagined the Project. Mr. / Ms. Flawless was only a "friend". You can’t expect me to remember everything I said to you in the heat of a few malfunctioning hormones.

8. If 7 fails maintain that you were a minor functionary in a meaningless clerical function.

Geez!!! Someone else has me targeted as the smuck. Everyone conveniently forgets that they never accepted any of suggestions. What the hell is my signature doing on that piece of paper??? I was just signing what I was told to sign!! If Mr. / Ms. Flawless, I didn’t realize I was signing for a new house. I thought you were kidding me!!

9. If in danger of being investigated / called to testify stoutly maintain your health will rapidly deteriorate.

My health is shot. Here are umpteen doctor’s reports. I was damn lucky I survived to the end of the examinations. If Mr./Ms. Flawless, I was too sick to realize what was going on!!

10. If all else fails maintain your short / long term memory no longer functions.

Glue mouth shut with Krazy Glue. Develop a quizzical look. Maintain a blank persona!! Pray to various gods for guidance / forgiveness.

Primes & Number Theory

The only known method of calculating Primes is by dividing the number you suspect is a Prime by all the numbers preceding it. If the chosen number is a Prime it can only be divided evenly by itself and 1. For instance 11, 13, 17 and 19 are all Primes because they can only be divided by themselves and 1 without any leftover fractions. There is a new method using Number Theory. Any number that is actually a Prime has 1, 3, 7, 9 in its’ 1’s column. The Primes 11, 13, 17, 19 are an example of this phenomena. Not all numbers with 1, 3, 7 and 9 in their first column are primes. For instance 21, 33, 27, and 99 aren’t Primes. Number Theory is the method for rapidly telling which number ending in 1, 3, 7 and 9 are Primes. You will see if you take the Prime numbers 11, 13, 17, 19 and add their digits you get for 11 (1 + 1 = 2), for 13 ( 1 + 3 = 4), for 17 ( 1 + 7 = 8) and for 19 ( 1 + 9 = 10). If you take the numbers 21, 33, 27, 99 which aren’t Primes you will see when you add their digits you get for 21 (2 + 1 = 3), for 33 (3 + 3 = 6), for 27 (2 + 7 = 9), for 99 ( 9 + 9 = 18). Most things in this universe seem to be related to the number 3. Things, good or bad, usually happen in 3’s. Most discussions have 3 major points. Traffic lights usually have 3 lights, red for stop, yellow for caution and green for go. You are usually given 3 chances to accomplish something. Most people can only remember 3 things on a list. The triangle, consisting of 3 sides, is the strongest form of construction. The people you know in your life can be classified as acquaintances, friends and soulmates. If you organize a speech, tell them what you are going to say, say it and tell them what you said. It would seem, therefore, that there is a high degree of likelihood that the number 3 is involved in the calculation of Primes. Upon examination you will see if you divide the sum of the Prime digits 11 (2), 13 (4), 17 (8) and 19 (10) by 3 11 (2/3), 13 (4/3), 17 (8/3) and 19 (10/3) you obtain a fraction. If you divide the sum of the digits that aren’t Primes 21 (3), for 33 (6), for 27 ( 9), for 99 ( 18). by 3 21 (3/3), for 33 (6/3), for 27 ( 9/3), for 99 ( 18/3). you obtain a whole number. Therefore you will see if the digits in any numbers ending in 1, 3, 7, or 9 when totaled and divided by 3 produce an odd number they are Primes.

To summarize:

All Prime Numbers beyond one column in width have a 1, 3, 7, 9 in the first column. For instance 11, 13, 17, 19 are Prime Numbers. Not all numbers ending in 1, 3, 7, 9 are Primes. For instance 21, 33, 27, 99 aren’t Primes.

Add the digits in the selected number ending in 1, 3, 7, 9. For instance the Primes 11, 13, 17, 19 have a digit total of 2, 4, 8 and 10. The numbers 21, 33, 27, 99 which aren’t Primes have a total of 3, 6, 9, 18

Divide the digit totals by 3. If the number ending in 1, 3, 7, 9 is a Prime the digit total when divided by 3 will be uneven. If the number ending in 1, 3, 7, 9 is not a Prime the digit total when divided by 3 will be even.

Face Space

Everyone tells me to stay out of their face so in order to avoid trouble I have to know the dimensions of a person’s face space. Let’s see. Things, good or bad, usually happen in 3’s. Most discussions have 3 major points. Traffic lights usually have 3 lights, red for stop, yellow for caution and green for go. You are usually given 3 chances to accomplish something. Most people can only remember 3 things on a list. The triangle, consisting of 3 sides, is the strongest form of construction. The people you know in your life can be classified as acquaintances, friends and soulmates. If you organize a speech, tell them what you are going to say, say it and tell them what you said.. Based on this irrefutable logic it seems reasonable to assume that everyone’s space seems to be 3 units in length, 3 units in width and 3 units in depth. I have also been called a square and if you multiply 3 units of length times 3 units of width you get a 9 square units (3 X 3 = 9). So far so good!! It seems reasonable, therefore, that if each person has been allotted 9 square units of face space then 9 has to have some mathematical significance to make the system work. If you take any random number such as 137 for example and add it’s digits (1 + 3 + 7 = 11) and subtract that total (11) from the original number (137 - 11 = 126) and that number (126) is divided by 9 you get a number without any fraction (126 / 9 = 14). In addition the digits of 126 (1 + 2 + 6 = 9) total 9. Most people aren’t two dimensional. Therefore, a 3 dimensional person consisting of 3 units of length, 3 units of width and 3 units of depth (3 X 3 X 3 = 27) has 27 cubic units of space. The digits of 27 are 2 and 7. 2 plus 7 = 9 (2+7 = 9). Therefore, if your friend is a Square his face space is 9 square units. If your friend is a cube his face space is 27 cubic units.

Flying Saucers

Someone once said that anything we don’t understand is magic. Flying Saucers are in that category. Let us assume that Flying Saucers do exist in spite of all the pro and con discussion. Some reports of Flying Saucers say that when they move they are noiseless and when they are still they gently rock. Based on these observations it would seem the Flying Saucers are using some sort of limitless fuel that doesn’t have to be carried by the Flying Saucer. I think that whoever operates the Flying Saucer has learned to manipulate Gravitons and Time which are both special forms of energy. The civilization that developed Flying Saucers probably has observed that Planets move by surfing as I explained in my posting "Planet Surfers". Here’s how Space Travel works using Gravitons. Gravitons, because they are a special form of energy, have the ability to attract objects without being attracted by objects. This imbalance creates a Force which we call Gravity. Gravitons, as energy, repel each other which gives them the ability to be evenly spread throughout the universe which is equivalent to having gas stations all over. This combination of object attraction and repulsion, if accelerated indefinitely, is equivalent to a limitless pulsing force that would propel any space ship. The repulsive force between Gravitons is about (1/e^(137)) / Pi or 1.01043E-60. The Flying Saucer when it travels or rests will warp the Graviton Lattice creating a cup around the Flying Saucer in the shape of a brassiere cup. The Gravitons start to repel themselves from around the Flying Saucer which causes a temporary downward slope underneath the Flying Saucer causing it to wobble.

Time

Time is a form of energy. Gravitons are a form of energy. Gravitons, because they are a special form of energy, have the ability to attract particles without being attracted by particles. This imbalance creates a force called Gravity acting on the particle. Gravitons, as energy, repel each other which gives them the ability to be evenly spread throughout the universe. Gravitons, being energy, don’t have dimensions, weight or mass or electrical charge. If Gravitons had dimensions or mass or weight or electrical charge they would interact with each other and wouldn’t be Gravitons. Time is a special form of energy similar to Gravitons which also doesn’t have weight or mass or dimensions or electrical charge. Here’s how it works. Time, as energy, flows in an outward direction expanding this universe as it drags everything in this universe with it. Time, as energy, has the ability to tear everything apart causing it to deteriorate, grow old, stop working, fall apart or fall off. You and I, have an intuitive feeling as to how the system works. Time, as energy, can flow across dimensions like Gravitons. Time flows out of other dimensions and as soon as it enters this universe it attaches itself to everything and doesn’t let go. Time, as energy, then flows outward in this universe taking everything with it. Time extracts the energy from everything which means those things deteriorate, grow old, stop working, fall apart or fall off. Time and Gravitons are a form of Dark Energy which we can’t see, but do feel as a result of their actions on particles and events.

Planet Surfers

Planets were the original surfers. Here’s how it worked using Gravitons. Gravitons, because they are a special form of energy, have the ability to attract planets without being attracted by planets. This imbalance creates a force called Gravity acting on the planet. Gravitons, as energy, repel each other which gives them the ability to be evenly spread throughout the universe. Gravitons, being energy, don’t have dimensions, weight or mass or electrical charge. If Gravitons had dimensions or mass or weight or electrical charge they would interact with each other and wouldn’t be Gravitons. Gravitons are similar to Time which also doesn’t have weight or mass or dimensions or electrical charge. Time is a special form of energy that only flows in the outward direction dragging everything with it. Think of having a bag of Gravitons. These Gravitons, as energy, have the ability to attract other particles but not themselves. Gravitons also have the ability to travel across dimensions. This attraction is about 1/e^(137) or 3.17436E-60 / Graviton. The Gravitons also have a repulsive force that repels other Gravitons. This repulsive force between Gravitons is about (1/e^(137)) / Pi or 1.01043E-60. Pour the bag of Gravitons into a 3 dimensional box with Time being the sides of the box. You will see that they will space themselves equally apart forming a lattice in the 3 dimensional box. Put a planet in the box. You will see that the planet will warp the Graviton Lattice creating a cup around the planet in the shape of a brassiere cup. The warping of the Graviton Lattice will provide the planet with its’ gravity. The Gravitons, however, as energy, repel each other which gives them the ability to be evenly spread throughout the universe. The Gravitons start to repel themselves from around the planet which causes a temporary downward slope underneath the planet which causes it to roll or spin. This downward roll or spin causes the planet to oscillate or arc or wobble in its’ orbit by a fraction of a degree. This roll or spin or arc or wobble causes Gravitons in the direction of the roll to deform forming other brassiere cups. The warped Graviton Lattice behind the now traveling planet is filled in by Gravitons coming from other dimensions. Therefore it can be seen that the planet is traveling down a tunnel formed by a Graviton Wave which is being filled in behind by Gravitons from another dimension. This is similar to surfers traveling down the slope of a water wave pipe being filled in behind by the water of the wave cutting over the surfer!!

Gravitons

Gravitons are something that causes everything in this universe to have gravity but what are they in a physical sense???? Gravitons appear to be a special form of energy. This form of energy we will call Gravitons. Gravitons, because they are energy, have the ability to attract particles without being attracted by particles in a physical sense. This imbalance creates a force called Gravity. Gravitons, as energy, repel each other which gives them the ability to be evenly spread throughout the universe. Gravitons, being energy, don’t have dimensions, weight or mass or electrical charge. If Gravitons had dimensons or mass or weight or electrical charge they would interact with each other and wouldn’t be Gravitons. Gravitons are similar to Time which also doesn’t have weight or mass or dimensions or electrical charge. Time is a special form of energy that only flows in the outward direction dragging everything with it. Think of having a bag of Gravitons. They can’t be detected by any known method. You only know they are present because of their influence on other particles. These Gravitons, as energy, have the ability to attract other particles but not themselves. This attraction is about 1/e^(137) or 3.17436E-60 / Graviton. The Gravitons also have a repulsive force that repels other Gravitons, as energy. This repulsive force between Gravitons is about (1/e^(137)) / Pi or 1.01043E-60. The Gravitons also have the ability to travel across dimensions. Pour the bag of Gravitons into a 3 dimensional universe with Time as the 4th dimension. You will see that they will space themselves equally apart forming a lattice in a 3 dimensional box. The Graviton’s attractive force for other particles forms the equivalent of Time Field Gravity and their repulsive force forms the equivalent of Time Field Force. The Gravitons are Lorentz’s Aether.

Energy

What is energy??? We have a basic concept of energy as something we need to get work done. We don’t have a clue about what it is in a physical sense. The production of energy usually means we convert something that has dimensions and weight or mass into something that doesn’t have weight or mass or dimensions. For instance, we turn wood which has weight or mass and dimensions into heat which doesn’t have weight or mass or dimensions. You can feel the effects of heat but you can’t see heat except as it affects other things such as air. Time is something that doesn’t have weight or mass or dimensions even though it affects all of us. Gravitons don’t appear to have weight or mass or dimensions because Gravitons are the only source of gravity. If they had weight or mass or dimensions something else would have to supply gravity. Protons don’t have weight or mass or dimensions because they need to travel constantly at the speed of light which requires all their mass to be converted to energy. Energy, therefore, is something that doesn’t have weight or mass or dimensions but is detectable because of its’ influence on other things.

Relativistic Time

Relativistic Time is a neat concept. Start by thinking of Time as forming a one dimensional plate or a two dimensional picture frame or if you prefer a three dimensional box. You also have a bag of black marbles that have an unique set of properties. The black marbles are called Gravitons. They cannot be compressed , have no electrical charge, can’t be seen, don’t reflect light and don’t vibrate. They can’t be detected by any known method. You only know they are present because of their influence on other particles. These Gravitons have the ability to attract other particles but not themselves. This attraction is about 1/e^(137) or 3.17436E-60 / Graviton. The Gravitons also have a repulsive force that repels other Gravitons. This repulsive force between Gravitons is about (1/e^(137)) / Pi or 1.01043E-60. The Gravitons also have the ability to travel across dimensions. Depending on your choice, pour the Gravitons from the bag onto the 1 dimensional plate, inside the 2 dimensional picture frame or into the 3 dimensional box. You will see that they will space themselves equally apart on the 1 dimensional plate and in vertical layers in the 2 dimensional picture frame and in a lattice in a 3 dimensional box. The Graviton’s attractive force for other particles forms the equivalent of Time Field Gravity and their repulsive force forms the equivalent of Time Field Force. The Gravitons form Lorentz’s Aether. Einstein says that the faster the object travels the more it changes into pure energy until it disappears. Time has zero dimensions. Here’s how Relativistic Time works. The velocity of the object disturbs the arrangement of the Gravitons because of the creation of Waves much like a boat going up a river. The Gravitons can’t compress so they tend to cluster and increase the gravitational force on the moving object. The increase in gravitational force causes acceleration, which is independent of the object’s material or the physical state of the object. This causes the Time "frame" or Time "box" to contract thus shortening the Space that the object travels. The clustering of the Gravitons causes the Space to warp because Time is proportional to Space and the object’s trajectory starts to bend. The clustering of the Gravitons slows down the object but since the Time "frame" or Time "box" is narrower it causes the observer to think the object is moving at the same velocity. If we take the speed of light at a constant 186,000 mph. for example, and if we agree that velocity = light speed X Time we will see that as light speed is constant, velocity is constant. Time is a variable since Time is contracting , Space is contracting because Time is proportional to Space. It then follows that light speed has to slow so the velocity of light is constant. Therefore Time is relativistic.

Pick Up Tips

Let’s face it men don’t have a clue about "pick - up" potential as far as woe-man are concerned. If you have ever had a sister you will realize that woe-man are next to impossible to figure out much less understand in any meaningful way. Nothing is 100% sure because even from the following list one of these Belles may ring your clangor. Most men, however, will find it advantageous to avoid the following combos:

A nose ring attached to bifocals by a string so you won’t lose your glasses

Spiked hair interspersed between bald spots

A pierced tongue supporting loose dentures

Miniskirt and support hose held up by garters

Sandals seemingly garnished with corn pads

A belly button ring with a gall bladder surgery scar accent.

Unbuttoned disco shirt with an inside heart monitor pocket

Midriff shirts with midriff bulge trim

Pierced nipples on a nude beach that hang below the waist

A Bikini clashing with liver spots

Short shorts not matching your varicose veins

Sporty In-line skates supplemented by a Walker for safety

A sexy Thong over Depends in case of an accident.

Whose On First

A lot of men, including myself, don’t have a clue about woe - men. Unfortunately, that deficit doesn’t stop me from giving advice. First of all there’re three kinds of relationships, acquaintances, friends and soulmates. Most people have an intuitive grasp of acquaintances. These are the people that you may have to endure because of economic / social considerations or because they are friends of people you "like". They, still, no matter how hard you try, leave you with a "blah" feeling. Friend relationships are a little tougher. You can essentially have three grades of friends. Blah plus limited interest, blah plus middling interest, and best friends to whom you bear your guts and who are very close to soulmates. Soulmates are a little trickier. Whether or not you appreciate / like it, we all have Souls. Our Soul seems to have more on the ball than our three dimensional persona having been through several incarnations. After all, you can’t beat experience!! If our Soul doesn’t like our best friend you’re up the proverbial creek without a paddle.

Here are some hints:

Being A Nice Guy - Women like a "nice" guy. Being a "nice" guy means you will at least have a 1st date. No woman wants her friends to obviously know she can’t pick men. They may suspect it but why should you confirm it???

Convince Her To Like You - Silly Boy!! If you can’t convince your sister what makes you think you convince a date??

Approval Or Permission - Do you let your mother run your life??? Same principle, Dumkof!!
Food & Gifts - Hey dopey you have to convince the Soul. Does a Soul eat??? Hey get with the program!!!

Telling her "How You Feel" too early - Why confirm what she has psyched out on her own???

Telling Her She Is Attractive - Are you nuts??? She knows it already. Do you go out with ugly women????

Money & Looks - Don’t forget the effects of gravity over time. Everything sags including the Wallet!!

Giving Away Your Power - On the first date??? Have you no standards??? Wait until you’re married!!! It’ll happen naturally over time you Wuz!!

Not Getting Help - Do you think I’m stupid??? I’ve read Vogue too!!!

Teacher / Organizer

When you think about it, God has just got to be the greatest teacher / organizer around. The world’s religions are all different, but I’m willing to bet that your religion / belief system has a set of behaviour rules associated with it. I, being Christian, have the 10 Commandments. 10 simple rules to follow. What could be simpler??? There’re also lots of stories in the Bible to give us a visual and coherent way of remembering what happens if we step out of line or find it difficult to interpret the 10 Commandments. She has given us language which is forever changing and expanding so we can narrow down concepts through our choice of words. Dork and Nerd are typical examples of these changes and narrow concepts. Most things, in principle, are the same. In business, you have to have a good product, that is competitive, that satisfies the needs of the market. If you’re looking for love, you have to have a good product that is competitive, and that satisfies the needs of the market. You have to do market research. Is there a need for your product??? Is that particular market segment overcrowded??? Should you be a niche player??? What product characteristics are most likely to appeal to the consumer. For instance, good looks, humour and empathy seem to be popular with the consumer. If your product is average looking, can you shift the emphasize to a characteristic that the other products lack to a greater degree??? Is your product relatively maintenance free?? Nothing could be simpler.

Dark Matter, Dark Energy, Dark Time

Dark Matter, Dark Energy and Dark Time existed on the other side of creation. Dark Time was the original string in String Theory. Dark Time has Dark Matter and Dark Energy on the string. To add to the mix Randomness or the Possibility Principle existed in the zero dimensions before creation. The Possibility Principle meant that everything had the possibility of existing under arbitrary possibility rules . The Possibility Principle meant that Dark Time, Dark Energy and Dark Matter had completely random properties and laws. There was no uniformity for anything, anywhere. The Possibility Principle hiccuped causing Dark Time to unravel creating Forward Directional Time, Back and Forth Space, Force, Energy and our dimensions. Directional Time, Space, Force, Energy became separate sets in our universe with interconnecting ranges and mathematical relationships. Directional Time, in our universe, has a randomizing function caused by the expansion of the Universe as per Stephen Hawking. We visualize the opposite direction of Time or negative direction of Time as "yesterday" but can't physically travel in that direction. The "Holes of Creation" with Dark Time on the other side weren't sealed after the Big Bang. Dark Time allows everything to exist without change and at the same time. Dark Time is the basis of Christianity’s concept of God and Eternity because nothing deteriorates and it lasts forever. Conceivably anything can exist behind the "Holes of Creation". If our universe was perfect we would have Dark Time which would allow us to be everywhere at once and see everything at once as well as enabling us to go backwards and forwards time wise. This means that as the "Holes Of Creation" were never "sealed" after the Big Bang we have the ability to see behind the open "Holes of Creation" on a quantum level. Any generated "ripple" on our side which "penetrated" the "Holes Of Creation" on a quantum level would send "Properties" of the other side's disturbance through to us. We would see these "Properties" as various quantum effects and "strangeness". We can't explain some of the weird effects because some of the foreign "Laws" on the other side of the "Holes of Creation" don't change immediately at the entrance to our universe and therefore are seen by us as "strangeness" at the quantum level.

Dark Matter

Dark Matter and Time seem to have a lot in common. Neither Time nor Dark Matter respond to any external stimulation or devised test. We know that something exists similar to the effects of "Light" Matter which we can see and manipulate because if Dark Matter didn’t exist the universe would fall apart. In fact, this "something" that we call Dark Matter, for lack of a better term, is about 90% of our universe. Time which we can’t see is 100% of our universe. Our seen universe consists of particles, strings and waves. Particles are single elements with various names to describe them like, boy, girl, electron etc. Particles get together and form strings. For instance boys and girls get together to form groups or strings of friends. Electrons get together in strings and form currents. The waves are the result of these groups of friends (strings) doing something with the various groups of friends (strings) that they meet in life. Similarly electron strings combine with other electron strings to run motors, carry information, sense things etc.. Particles have to vibrate in some way to form strings and waves. If we can’t find any Dark Matter particles, strings or waves then it stands to reason that Dark Matter has to be something else. In my posting on Time I postulated that Time has got to be a Plate. If Time is a Plate it carries particles, strings and events around on it. Since Time appears to be one dimensional then Dark Matter must be the one dimensional material from which the Time Plate is constructed. To take it one step further the Plates have to be stackable or layered which means that Time for all intents and purposes has to extend into other dimensions. Therefore it stands to reason that Dark Matter extends into other dimensions which we can’t see because we are maxed out at 3 dimensions. We can, however, feel the effects of other dimensions. The best example of this phenomena is the study of quantum mechanics where we can see the left over trails of processes but not the original moving particle.

Time

Time has just got to be one of the most fascinating things in this universe with the possible exception of significant others. Time and significant others are the only thing in this world that we sense as having only one dimension because of the way it / they affects / affect us. Time, unlike significant others, carries us in a forward direction . Sure we can imagine yesterday but we can’t physically return to yesterday. If Time carries us in a forward direction than it must have something equivalent to Gravity as we can’t escape the effects of Time. For lack of a better idea I’ll call it Time Field Gravity. I see Time as a 1 dimensional Plate on which everything including you and I, float during our lives. In my last posting I advanced the proposal that God’s favorite number in round figures was 137. Since Time has a certain randomness about it then it must be associated with "e" or 2.718281828 which is a never ending pseudo random figure mathematically. Time Field Gravity must be a small value because if it wasn’t you and I couldn’t do anything on our individual floating Time Plate. Therefore when everything is considered the value of the Time Field Gravity is 1/exp^ (137) or 3.17436E-60. Time Plates, in general, must have a repulsive force because everyone and everything including events on them seem to be drifting away from each other. In other words people and events come and go in our lives. For instance the universe which is also on a Time Plate is expanding!! Since it wouldn’t do for us to fall off our individual Time Plates while banging into each other, it seems to me the Time Field Repulsive Force has to be 1.01043E-60. This figure is 3.17436E-60 divided by Pi, (3.141592654) which is another pseudo random number mathematically.

God’s Most Fascinating Number

OK, Number Theorists what is God’s most fascinating number???? I’ll grant you that 1729 is interesting and there’re all kinds of constants that are breathtaking but what number takes the cake??? The number has just got to be 137. It has 3 prime digits 1, 3, 7. Also if you add 1 + 3 + 7 you get 11 which is another Prime Number. If you take any two digits from 137 and combine them you have the Primes 13, 17, 31, 37, 71, 73. 317 is another Prime from a three digit combination. Any number that is found to be a Prime Number may have a unit’s digit of 1, or 3, or 7 and occasionally 9 for some unaccountable reason as nine is 3 X 3. 137 plus a smidgen is the Fine Structure Constant 137.0360098. Classical physics tells us that electrons captured by element 137 which is undiscovered will move at the speed of light. 137 is the odds that an electron will absorb a single photon. Protons and electrons are bound by interactions with photons. So when you get 137 protons, you get a 100% chance of absorption. An electron in the ground state will orbit at the speed of light. This is the electromagnetic equivalent of a black hole. General Relativity prevents planets which are essentially a collection of electrons and protons from orbiting at the speed of light and beyond to create a Black Hole. General Relativity prevents element 137 from having electrons moving faster than the speed of light. If we divide 137 / 9 = 15.22222. 137 + 2 = 139 which is a Prime Number and if you add 1 + 3 + 9 you get 13 which is another Prime Number. In spite of General Relativity, element 139 would have electrons moving faster than light. Perhaps 137, is the physic’s threshold number equivalent to the speed of sound and in this case to traveling faster than light as the Theory of Everything has yet to be discovered!!!!

A New Prime Number Theory Based On Nine

A Prime is a whole number that can only be divided evenly without leaving a remainder by itself and 1. The common method of finding a Prime Number is to divide a suspected Prime Number by every number that precedes it to see if the only answer without a remainder is 1 or the chosen number. If we ignore the single digit Prime Numbers 1, 2, 3, 5, 7 you will see the Prime Numbers greater than 1 digit such as 11, 13, 17, 19 etc. will end in 1, 3, 7, and 9. Of course, other numbers that aren’t Prime Numbers also end in 1, 3, 7, 9 such as 21, 93, 57, and 49. At least it’s a start in cutting down our workload to find Primes since Primes have a high likelihood of having a unit’s digit of 1, 3, 7, 9. We can refine our technique by multiplying any whole number by 9. For instance ( 2 X 9) is 18. 18 isn’t a Prime but there is a possibility that 18 is relatively close to a Prime Number that has a unit digit of 1, 3, 7, 9. Experience will show that adding or subtracting 3 or 6 will not produce a Prime Number. ( 2 X 9 = 18 ), (18 + 6 =24 ), (18 - 6 = 12), (18 + 3 = 21), (18 - 3 = 15 ). Prime Numbers can be perhaps produced by adding 1, 2, 4, 5, 7, 8 to ( 2 X 9 = 18) or subtracting 1, 2, 4, 5, 7, 8 from ( 2 X 9 = 18) providing the resulting answer has a unit’s digit is 1, 3, 7 or 9. For Example adding 1 to (2 X 9 = 18) produces 19 and subtracting 1 from (2 X 9 = 18) produces 17 which are both Prime Numbers. Adding 5 and subtracting 5 from ( 2 X 9 = 18 )produces 13 and 23 which are both Prime Numbers. The last Prime Number associated with ( 2 X 9 = 18) is 11 by subtracting 7 from 18 (18 - 7 = 11). You will also see from the above example that you can add or subtract the same number to produce primes (2 X 9 + 5 = 23), ( 2 X 9 - 5 = 13). Shades of Ramanujan. I don’t know why it works, but it does!!!!!

So What’s The Plot ????

Why are you here when it’s all said and done??? What’s your purpose / function in the scheme of things?? Are you part of the problem or part of the solution???? If your life is preordained even though you have Freedom Of Choice then what’s the plot???? If you accept God into your life, then what does he / she want you to do??? God doesn’t exactly give you a daily itinerary / briefing because he / she gave you a brain to figure things out and ears to listen. God has also arranged to have a holy book assembled which contains story hints and commandment instructions. God has arranged for men / women to give sermons / advice, to guide us when things get out of kilter. God has given you Freedom Of Choice for the minor issues / inconsequential things providing you do the major stuff for him. There’s also good Consequences if you get it right and bad Consequences if you get off kilter. There’s also an element of Randomness to relieve boredom. Sounds simple in principle providing you listen / think!!!! So let’s get with the program!!!

Bad Timing, Bad Consequences, Bad Butterfly Effect

One of life’s stressors has got to be bad timing. You meet a potential significant other and find out he / she is married, engaged or into someone else. You back your car out of a parking spot and into the side of another car. You’re in the wrong place at the wrong time. Various wars are another example of the wrong place / wrong time phenomena. You take a vacation at a lovely location that has a future tsunami. Anyway you get the picture. Sometimes, you make a decision based on the say so of someone, who on the surface, appears to be carrying a full load. A classic example is the eating of the apple in the Garden Of Eden. Satan comes along and casts some doubt, " Did God actually say you mustn’t eat any fruit in the garden??" The text is to the effect that God, being reasonable and the creator of the Garden Of Eden, wouldn’t put anything harmful in it. The subtext is "You must be really stupid to think that God would have made that statement." Satan then goes on to say " God knows that your eyes will be opened when you eat it." The text is to the effect that God’s going to open your eyes anyway, so why not now as opposed to later??? The subtext is to the effect that God isn’t going to get mad at you for showing / having some initiative. Of course, God is mad at you and tosses you out. So what actually happened??? Why did Adam and Eve eat the apple??? Was it that Adam and Eve wanted to be like God??? Were Adam and Eve really thinking ??? Were Adam and Eve just curious??? Were Adam and Eve ignoring instructions??? Did God, as Manager of The Garden Of Eden, effectively communicate to his subordinates the consequences of eating the apple??? Should God have carried the can in this instance as a part of his / her management function / style and forgiven Adam and Eve. Is God operating in a hierarchical autocratic management style that should have been collaborative and organized around teamwork?? What say you MBA student / University School Of Management / Business???? The Bad Butterfly Effect is that the rest of us are carrying the can because of either Adam and Eve’s failure to follow adequately expressed instructions or alternately Management’s fit of pique. Do you think it is fair????

Just Keep The Faith Baby

I’ve a theory that God has organized this universe on the number 3. I don’t know why he / she did it but I suspect that he / she thought that most people had the ability to count to 3. I realize that nothing in this world is 100% so the remainder, like me, have to "Just Keep The Faith". I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m one that can’t take any chances. That’s the reason I’ve accepted God into my life. For instance, in our 3 dimensional world we have 3 conditions, Randomness, Order, and Chaos. Randomness or its’ handmaiden Random chance is something that happens out of the Blue, when you’re minding your P’s and Q’s, and whacks you on the side of the head. Occasionally Random Chance will play with you, and even run you around a little bit before letting go. Sometimes it will even take a bite out of your ass. Order is something we all understand. Most things that we eat, drink, walk on, use, are completely reliable or never change as long as we pay attention to the "Before Date". Chaos is something we cope with every day. Things fall apart, get old, don’t work, fall off, don’t perform like boy friends, girl friends, managers, career, dreams etc.. Anyway, you get the picture. Since I’ve accepted God into my life I’ve had to watch that I don’t annoy him / her. This "watching" has become paranoia!! For instance am I doing things for the right reasons??? To add to my difficulty God doesn’t give me a plan for the day. His / her basic attitude, is "I gave you a brain, so use it!!" Like why am I writing this post. To show off??? Take a chance at annoying God??? Who knows??? Most of the time I just do "things". Like man, I’m on automatic pilot!! Maybe I’m helping God accomplish something by writing this post. Unfortunately, he / she never discusses anything with me before putting some plan into gear. I think I’m just a Private in God’s army. I signed up for something and even though I intrinsically don’t want to volunteer he / she just goes ahead and uses my talents. I got to admit it’s kind of fun. The assignments are interesting and I don’t have to carry the "can". Heck I enjoy it. The benefits are good. I got into some situations which were due to my own stupidity. He / she arranged events and circumstances to get me out of it with a little sweat equity on my part. I don’t think that I’ll do it again!! My mantra is "Just Keep The Faith Baby!!"

It’s Time Again

Scientists have been looking for something called the Theory of Everything. The Theory of Everything is supposed to be able to explain everything that exists in this universe with a little equation tweaking. I suspect that The Theory of Everything is linked to the fundamental concept that Time is a wave that cannot be subdivided into elements or particles. Time can also be visualized as a multidimensional dinner plate that carries events, space, energy, particles, on its’ surface. Time is similar to a tectonic dinner plate that carries continents and oceans around on earth. Time on a universe scale carries the planets and galaxies around on universal dinner plates. If Time is to hold events, space, energy, particles, on its’ surface then it has to have quantum gravity and as the galaxy is expanding then the plates have to have a quantum repulsive force. Quantum Time Gravity has yet to be observed but I suspect that it is around 1/EXP(137) or 3.17436E-60 which I explained in a previous posting. The quantum repulsive force between individual Time Plates is about 1.01043E-60 which will be explained in a future posting. The Time Plates obtain their quantum repulsive energy by taking the energy binding the events, space, energy, particles together on its’ surface and using the obtained quantum energy for expansion. This taking of quantum energy from the Time Plate surface causes chaos or deterioration on the Time Plate surface which we all have experienced in one way or another. Although each Time Plate is separate, it does have the same quantum gravity and therefore we have the illusion on a universal scale that Gravity travels faster than light but in actual fact it is always part of a Time Plate and to state the obvious doesn’t travel unless particles move on the individual Time Plate. Rapid acceleration temporarily deforms the Time Plate and relativistic velocity deforms the Time Plate creating the illusion of a Quantum Gravity Wave. Observers on different Time Plates see things happening on other Time Plates exactly the same way because Quantum Time Plate Gravity is consistent for each plate and carries the information to the observer at the same speed from the deforming Time Plate. This concept is similar to Einstein’s "Frames".

Too Late

I woke up this morning with the horrible feeling that I was born too late and everything has already been said. Here’s some examples:

Inside every old lady is a younger lady. I often wonder what the hell happened between young and old !!!

Inside every woman lives a skinny woman crying to get out. I can only solve that problem by throwing cookies.

The hardest years in life are those between ten and whatever age you happen to be at the moment.

I just discovered my eyebrows have dropped to my chin.

Things are going to get a lot worse before they deteriorate beyond repair.

A male gynecologist is not an asshole, but equivalent to an auto mechanic who never owned a car.

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with everyone to whom you owe money.

My second favorite chore is cleaning. My first favorite household chore is ironing. My favorite way of finding relief from both chores is hitting my head on the bottom of the top bunk bed until I faint.

Old age ain't no confidence builder.

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woe-man usually does what man can’t do which is usually everything.

The phrase "working mother" is redundant.

Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the windows and breaks the panes in the process.

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.

I try to take one day at a time -- but sometimes several days attack me at once.

If you can't be a good example -- then you'll just have to settle for being a horrible warning.

When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME slow!

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb -- and to be safe I don’t dye my hair blonde.

If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.

Creativity, Art & Life

Show me the man / woman that hasn’t made mistakes and I’ll show you the man / woman that hasn’t done anything!! Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is the ability to know which ones to keep!!! Everyone is stressed these days. Everyone is obsessed with doing things. There is a noble art of getting things accomplished but there is also a noble art of leaving things undone. Life’s trick is being able to tell the difference and leaving the useless stuff alone.

My Face Fell Off

My face fell off. To make matters worse I can’t remember which face brought me the most mileage. For instance, there’s my management face, my Joe Cool face, my sophisticated / come hither chicky poo face, my sincere / concerned face, my ambitious face, my career face, and my lover’s face which co-ordinates nicely with both my Zoot Suit and my Lizard Lounge / Leisure Larry Suits. I’ve changed faces so many times I don’t know the "real" me. I read somewhere that you should "Know Thyself First". Good luck on that one!!! Do you really know what you’re like when all the facial paint is scraped off??? Fortunately, we can’t read each other’s mind so you can project any image you want. My advice for success is to lie like hell !!! It usually works because most of us are reasonably competent on a day to day basis and if you aren’t too abnormal, eyeball wise, most people will ignore you. Also generalize like hell!! Many a man or woman has skewered themselves by going into too much detail. Maintain that sophisticated, know it all look without saying anything relevant attitude at all costs. It also helps if a man smokes a pipe. The man, sucking up on a pipe, will look sophisticated. Men basically have a way of looking naturally sophisticated and abnormally clever when sucking up. If you get good at sucking up you will go far in the business world because, unbelievable as it seems, your manager has even more insecurities than you since he’s fearful of loosing his leadership position at any moment. A lady should smoke a cigarillo. There is something about ½ mast female eyelids that convey a sense of sophistication and mystery to the average Joe Cool. Eyelids at ½ mast are also practical. They prevent watery eyes which, needless to say, dulls the sophisticated worldly deja vu effect. The only problem is that you should maintain some consistency for your friends. If you don’t, your friends will get confused as 99% of what you are to them is what they can eyeball!! Also avoid blogging at all costs. Putting anything in writing is a potential downer. You’ll have to jump through hoops to spin your words in a logical and sincere way!! Unfortunately, in your panic to fill your blog your writing tends to fill with "what ifs". After awhile, you’ll start to take a thought or theme and explore it to its' Nth degree. This is off putting to your friends. They will start to think that you are losing what few marbles you possess or even worse partaking in the less acceptable social mores. Some will even worry that your personality is falling apart and you’re no longer "normal". When you think about it we're all complex creatures and whether or not what we write is the real "us", who knows, and especially in some cases the writer doesn’t even know because he / she gets fascinated by the words and forgets the "thought". I guess way down deep down under our "face" we are all crazy mixed up kids!!!

Tectonic Time Plates

My posting "How God Pushed Her Pencil" postulated that her favorite number was 137. In my posting "We’re All Groovy" I advanced the theory that 1 dimensional Time had to have Gravity as it was dragging the Universe apart on Tectonic Time plates . These Tectonic Time Plates probably are the root of the Dark Matter phenomena . The Gravity Number can’t be large because you and I wouldn’t be able to move on our tectonic plate. When you put it all together the Gravity Number has got to be 1/EXP(137) or 3.17435854 E -60. There is also another number very close to 137 and that number is 137.035991. This number, 137.035991, is the Fine Structure Constant. The Fine Structure Constant measures the strength with which subatomic particles interact with one another and with light. In other words, particles reacting with particles that aren’t literally resting on the Tectonic Time Plate but dancing above it. Einstein said that space-time is curved which means that the Tectonic Time Plates are also curved. Thus if we take the Fine Structure Constant (137.035991) and divide it by the Gravity Number (3.17436E-60) we get the amount of space curvature of the tectonic Time Plate which is 4.31697E+61. Pioneer 10, launched in 1972 and Pioneer 11 launched a year later is an example of this effect. There is something that is causing them to speed up. The resulting acceleration is tiny, less than a nanometre per second per second. That's equivalent to just one ten-billionth of the gravity at Earth's surface, but it is enough to have shifted Pioneer 10 some 400,000 kilometers off track compared to traveling on a flat surface. The acceleration is caused by the slight downward slope of the space time curvature of the Tectonic Time Plate carrying Pioneer 10 and 11. Pioneer 10 and 11 are also causing eddy currents which are warping the space-time surrounding them.

Is That What It Means ????

English, as a living language, has many meanings. Here is an example of how to read a Personal Advertisement if you are looking for a Hottie!!
40-ish means everyone up to 49++++.
Adventurous means I slept with average nobodies without asking them if they had Aid’s or HIV. Looking means I’m desperate and anyone ugly is acceptable
Beautiful means I’m a pathological liar with a contagious disease.
Smile means I do a lot of pills to control my emotions.
Secure means I’m on medication and wear a Strait Jacket under my Glad Rags.
Feminist means I’m fat and have no discernible personality.
Free spirit means I’m a Smacked Up Junkie.
Friendship First means I’m a retired slut.
Fun means I’m annoying.
New-Age means I have body hair in all the wrong places.
Old-fashioned means I’m not interested in anything dangling from unsecured openings in PJ’s.
Open minded means I’m beyond desperate.
Outgoing personality means I’m loud and embarrassing even when I’m not falling down drunk .
Passionate means I relate best when sloppy drunk.
Professional means that Bitch is my nick name.
Voluptuous means that I’m obnoxiously large and waddle when I walk.

Woe-man’s English
1. Yes means No
2. No means Yes
3. Maybe means No
4. We need means I want.
5. I am sorry means you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk means You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead means you better not
8. Do what you want means you will pay for this later.
9. I am not upset means of course I am upset!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight means is sex all you ever
think about?

Man’s English
1. I am hungry means I am hungry
2. I am sleepy means I am sleepy
3. I am tired means I am tired
4. Nice dress means nice cleavage
5. I love you means let's have sex now
6. I am bored means do you want to have sex now that your headache is gone?
7. May I have this dance means I'd like to have sex with you on the dance floor.
8. Can I call you sometime means I'd like to have sex with you as soon as my girl friend goes home.
9. Do you want to go to a movie means I’d like to have sex with you over the theatre seats.
10. Can I take you out to dinner means I'd like to have sex with you on the dinner table.
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit means that I’m gay.

Some New Ways To Choose A Probable Prime

A prime number is a number that can only be divided evenly by itself and 1. The only way to definitely calculate whether a prime is a prime is by dividing it by all the numbers that preceded the number you suspect is a prime. There are, however, ways of choosing the number that you may suspect is a prime before dividing. First of all any number that has more than 1 digit isn’t a prime if it can be divided by 2 and 5. For instance 12 and 15 aren’t primes because 12 / 2 = 6 and 15 / 5 = 3. Secondly, most, if not all primes, end with the last digit being 1, 3, 7, and 9. For instance 11, 13, 17, and 19 are primes. Take any chosen number such as 11 for instance and break it down into its’ constituents remembering that for a potential prime number the number has to end in 1, 3, 7, 9. Therefore 11, for example, can be broken down into (10 +1), (2+9), (4+7), (8+3) . Remove the (+)’s. The numbers are 101, 29, 47 ,83. Test the numbers. You will find in this case that 101, 29, 47, and 83 are all prime numbers. Sometimes these numbers aren’t prime. The difference between a prime number and the next prime number is some multiple of 2. For instance the difference between 137 and 139 is 2. Between 151 and 157 is 6 (2 X 3). Between 181 and 191 is 10 (2X5).

How God Pushed Her Pencil

There is an old saying that "The Devil Is In The Details". What this means is that while it is nice to say "I’m going to be a billionaire by the age of 20" there is a main problem as to how you plan to make this statement a reality. Hence "The Devil Is In The Details". One of the more interesting problems in cosmology is the value of Gravity in a layer of Time that doesn’t vibrate because it only has 1 dimension. Nobody has been able to find a value through experimentation / observation. Fortunately, for us, God didn’t simply dump us into this universe without a few hints if we are willing take the time to use the old noodle to figure things out. My posting on "God’s Favorite Number" established that it was 137. I’ve also posted that "This Universe Was Brought To You By The Number 3. The base for the Natural Logarithms is 2.718281828 and Pi is 3.141592654. Both these numbers are "almost 3" and definitely indeterminate because of how they are calculated. In my posting "We’re All Groovy" I postulated that 1 dimensional Time had to have Gravity as it was dragging the Universe apart on tectonic Time plates . To take it one step further Time may be the Dark Matter that we can’t find because Dark Matter doesn’t vibrate which is our usual method of detecting something. Gravity can’t be a big number because you and I wouldn’t be able to move on the tectonic plate. The Natural Logarithm is always being multiplied by itself to come up with a number. When you put it all together Gravity has got to be 1/EXP(137) or 3.17435854 E -60. You will notice that the number 3.17435854 alone is very close to Pi (3.141592654) which is another hint. Both the digits in 3.17435854 and 3.141592654 total 40. If we add (4 + 0) we get 4 and the 4th dimension is Time.

We’re All Groovy

Most of us know when something involving Time starts and stops. Sometimes we know exactly when and other times we know approximately when. Time seems to move in a straight line in an outward direction in our universe. Time takes energy from existing systems and uses that energy to expand. This is why we are born young in relatively good shape and then grow old and decrepit over Time. Everything deteriorates in this universe over Time. Time must be everywhere because none of us can escape its’ effects. Time seems to have only have one dimension because we can only measure it in terms of starting at one point and ending at another point. Time seems to have gravity associated with it because we can’t escape it. Time being one dimensional doesn’t vibrate because it is missing a vertical dimension in which to vibrate. This fact raises an interesting question. Our galaxies should be falling apart because there isn’t enough observable mass in them to produce the observed spin. There must be something out there that we can’t see and that something is layers of non-vibrating Time holding the Galaxies together. Time Layers are similar to the tectonic plates on earth that carries the continents and oceans around on earth. Einstein mentioned that planets and everything else in this universe warps the layers of Time creating warped Space or Space Time. Thus in the final analysis we are all groovy!!!

Relationships

I’m been running around like a chicken with its’ head cut off. Hell, maybe all this activity is equal to success. The next day I get up and start the whole process again!!! It is becoming my life style!!! Unfortunately, besides making me tired and cranky, it doesn’t do anything meaningful for my life. I got to thinking about relationships. I’ve a lot of friends but they don’t do anything for me psychologically. What I need is something for real with companionship and intimacy as well as love as an added "spice". I think I’m ready to lease now and if things pan out purchase later. Maybe a trial run. Now what does the catalogue say??? How do you spell "love"???

God’s Favorite Number

I have a favorite color which is Lime Green. That color is everywhere in my life including my car and the walls of my house. This realization lead me to think that maybe God has a favorite number which is used almost anywhere in various forms. I reread my previous postings to see if I could come up with a clue. I’ve written about how "This Universe Has Been Brought To You By The Number 3". I’ve also written about how all mathematical calculations and numbers come down to number 9 which is really 3 X 3. I’ve written about how all prime numbers end with either 1, 3, 7, or 9. A prime number is a number that can only be divided by 1 and itself. If you take a combination of 1, 3, 7, or 9 you can make the prime numbers , 13, 17, 19, 31, 37, 71, 73, 79, 137, 139 and 937. If you add (1+3+7 = 11) you get 11 and 11 is the number most mentioned as the number of dimensions associated with this universe in some way. There is a number called the Fine Structure Constant. It’s value is about 1/137.03597. You will notice that about .03597 is added to 137 for this calculation. The Fine Structure Constant is important because it represents both the probability that an electron will absorb a photon (particle of light) and also brings three very important domains of physics together: electromagnetism, relativity, and quantum mechanics. When you think about it, God’s most favorite number has just got to be 137!!!

We’re All Puppets On A String

Here’s the poop on what happened when the bubble burst creating our universe. Before the Big Bang, there was Pure Time. Pure Time consisted of Back and Forth or Directional Time, along with Space, Force and Energy rolled into a coiled spring. Pure Time, at the moment of the Big Bang, unfurled into layers or strings of Forward Directional Time, and back and forth Space, Force, Energy into our 4 directional universe. Directional Time, Space, Force, Energy became separate layers or strings in our universe with interconnecting ranges and mathematical relationships. We can visualize the opposite direction of Time or negative direction of Time as "yesterday" but can't physically travel in that direction. The "Holes of Creation" didn’t seal after Creation. Pure Time, which is on the other side of the "Holes Of Creation" , allows everything to exist without change and at the same time. Pure Time is the basis of Christianity’s concept of God, Eternity and Heaven because nothing deteriorates and lasts forever. Conceivably anything can exist behind the "Holes of Creation". If our universe was perfect we would have Pure Time which would allow us to be everywhere at once and see everything at once as well as enabling us to go backwards and forwards time wise. This means that as the "Holes Of Creation" were never "sealed" after the Big Bang we have the ability to see behind the open "Holes of Creation" on a quantum level. Any generated "ripple" seen on our side which "penetrated" the "Holes Of Creation" on a quantum level would send "Properties" of the other side's disturbance through to us. We would see these "Properties" as various quantum effects and "strangeness". We can't explain some of the weird effects because some of the foreign "Laws" on the other side of the "Holes of Creation" don't change immediately at the entrance to our universe. The most fascinating part is that we are all living on interconnected layers of Time, Space, Force and Energy. Truly we are all puppets on a string!!!

God Has Just Got To Rock

I’ve just finished a pant pant list of all those girls that never gave me a tumble. Even now, they send little waves up and down my spine. I can see each of them in my mind’s eye. Delightful, gorgeous creatures. They just never change over time. God has just got to rock. She has given you and I the ability to imagine anything and the ability to make anything happen in our imagination. Time is funny that way. We know when something starts and stops in Time, but Time never lets anything deteriorate. Everything in Time remains exactly the same. When you think about it maybe that is what Heaven is all about. Nothing deteriorates, and you can be anything, anywhere, even having versions of ourselves doing stuff in the same space at the same time. Time is the only space in which nothing deteriorates. Heaven knows, everything in the space in which you and I live deteriorates. Here we are little pieces of fluff, running around making waves and vibrating like hell. Maybe that is what our world really is, full of various particles , making waves and vibrating for all kinds of reasons .

Tell Tail Signs

There’s an old adage that whatever goes around comes around. That’s why I generally try to think happy thoughts about everyone because I can’t take a chance. Unfortunately, I goofed. It seems without knowing it, I accidentally offended the "Come Around" God. Any male who has ever chased a skirt in his youth knows instinctively about the "Come Around" God. Many times I’ve said, "Baby, when are you going to ‘Come Around’". Sometimes, with the proper incantation, mixed with a modicum of "sincerity" and "promise" the "Come Around" God answers my fevered prayer. Sometimes the "Come Around" God doesn’t answer. Well you can’t "win" them all!!! Anyway, it seems that the "Come Around" God has taken "advantage" of me. I’ve three daughters that have overactive hormones and now those vile male creatures are scratching at the front door like a pack of rabid hounds. I’m having night sweats in which my dreams end with my screaming "Not With My Daughter You Don’t". Fortunately, I’ve come up with a solution. I’ve rewired the "Love" seat in the living room so it flashes a "Male Crossing" sign in my study. Any male crossing (the line) gets it in the ear. The fathers in our neighborhood think it is a good idea and as a result I’ve been manufacturing these signs in the basement like crazy!! I think I’ll start up a little business. How about calling it "Tell Tail Signs"????

I Don’t Care What You Say God Is Definitely A Woman

God, of course, can be anything he / she wants to be but as far as our little three dimensional universe is concerned God is a woman. I don’t want to be coarse, but I arrived at that conclusion when I was having a pee. I know you probably won’t agree with me but as Sherlock Holmes once said, "When all other reasonable conclusions have been eliminated, the one remaining, however ridiculous, has to be true". I’m a peaceful person, anxious to avoid conflict, so I’ve developed a fairly good aim with the toilet seat down. I’ve been accused, sometimes, of having a faulty aim but that has been fixed by having a fly engraved on the back of the porcelain drain. Sort of an "aiming" point like a gun target. I also have one of those suction toilets that go "whoosh" when you hit the lever due to a constipation problem. Anyway, I was staring at the toilet rim and it suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks. Let me explain. In one of my postings I said that God is just like the rest of us in as much as she isn’t interested in doing a lot of work. If you are a man with a significant other you will readily grasp this concept. She uses a basic template which may have different names depending on where it is found and its’ function. For instance, I’ve always been fascinated by astronomy. Astronomy has lots of interesting aspects to it, but the relevant one for this story is the part about us living in a galaxy. A galaxy is chock full of planets, suns and other interesting stuff like asteroids etc.. that travel in a trajectory around the Galaxy as well as orbiting around themselves. The most fascinating thing is that a Galaxy is held together by a gigantic Black Hole that consumes anything it can get its’ itty bitty little hands on just like a toilet bowl. So when you think about it our little earth is resting on a toilet rim ready to roll off at any moment if it gets too close to the Black Hole. In other words you and I are one flush away from a cosmic drain!! Ipso facto, God has got to be a woman because no man has ever had a fixation about cleaning!!!!

Trust, Love, & Underwear

I’ve been reading a lot of blogs about love lately. Most blogs talk about that warm fuzzy feeling and how if you’re in love you back fill each other’s deficiencies so you both become one as in the words "stronger" and "complete". If you live long enough all your reproductive hormones will go up that romantic chimney along with that warm fuzzy feeling . You can no longer curl up on that fireplace rug because getting stiff from rheumatism is more painful than getting stiff from noxious fluids. Life begins to become routine, expressed love goes out the window and you and your significant other finally have the ability to finish each other’s sentences. The question now arises as to how do you adequately express your trust, devotion, and commitment commonly summarized as "love" to your significant other??? Routine is very important for harmony in a marriage. Communication is also very important in a marriage. Variation is to be avoided at all costs because your significant other will suspect that you’re up to something. True love and devotion can only be adequately expressed through your handling of your underwear. If you have ever done some serious thinking about women you will soon realize that they have a fixation about changing their underwear every day and are forever buying new underwear. Men, on the other hand, have a realistic view of underwear. I mean does underwear really need to be changed when only one side is soiled??? What about using the other side which is undoubtedly clean?? I grant you that if your underwear is ripped you might have to change it in 3 or 4 days but hell, where is your sense of adventure, man???? Soiled underwear is a an expression of a man’s eternal love for his significant other!!! It also provides a readily available topic of conversation when both you and your significant other run out of things to say to each other. How many times has a man been bugged about the length of time he has worn his favorite underwear continuously?? Underwear also expresses filial loyalty to your significant other because all women know that there is nothing more repugnant or alternately more repulsive than dirty underwear in a romantic situation!!! I mean, really, if you have ever watched those sex movies how many times have you seen the woman rip off a man’s underwear???? Usually, if you’re paying adequate attention, you will notice a man’s underwear is usually removed off camera. Need I say more to make my point??? Men are such considerate creatures. Willing to go that extra step to ruin their health for an eternal expression of "love" and "commitment. Men are Gods!!!

Just Turn The Other Check

I got to thinking about God’s innate cleverness and the fact that things in life aren’t always what they seem to the casual observer. Take God’s son, Jesus Christ, for instance. He certainly wasn’t namby pamby because he threw the money changers out of the temple and died on the cross which wasn’t easy as we learned from a recent movie. I also suspect that Jesus knew exactly what was going to happen which made it even harder. In fact, there is a possibility that Christ’s forty days in the Wilderness was really a discussion with his father as to whether or not this was at all necessary. I mean, haven’t we all had discussions with our father about what he wants us to do in life and what we think we should do???? Acting vs. Business plus wealth for instance??? Sometimes I think God was extremely wise in not telling us when we’re going to die right down to the minute and hour. I mean could you handle it??? After all, there have been movies that have depicted the end of the earth and the invasion of aliens and everyone goes nuts!!! There is something about Jesus that has always bothered me and that was his advice to "Just Turn The Other Cheek". I mean, let’s face it, turning the other cheek seems to be really namby pamby!!! Why not slug the dickens out of the other guy and have all that instant gratification??? Turning the other cheek is the most effective method. Why you ask???? Turning The Other Check really messes with the other guy’s mind. If you add a smile and appear stupid in relationship to the other guy’s anger it really applies the pressure. I mean here we have the other guy blowing his stack, increasing his blood pressure and spending countless hours trying to think about ways to screw you. Something’s got to give and it is usually the other guy’s realization that he is wasting his time and you get to wear him out with no harm to you. Yea, Psychological Warfare!!!!

String Theory

A philosopher is defined as someone who has lots of ideas but no mathematical ability. A mathematician is defined as someone who has few ideas but does have the ability to move mathematical symbols around in interesting and provocative ways. It could all be nonsense but who cares. Besides it’s fun. The mathematicians have been struggling with something called The Theory Of Everything. The Theory Of Everything says that everything has started from one equation which can be modified to produce an equation for everything in our universe. So far limited luck, so I thought I’d help them out. The universe is based on the number 3 and all mathematic calculations can be reduced to the number 9 as I’ve outlined in previous postings. It is logical because 3 X 3 = 9. The quantum universe is based on statistics. In other words you have an equal chance, statistically, of 3 states of confusion, a yes, a no, and a maybe. Maybe is the illusion that something might have happened but you aren’t sure. Something like meeting a pant, pant girl going down the street who smiles seductively at you whose primary challenge in life is dealing with low self esteem. Did it actually happen or are you hallucinating???? The big deal in quantum theory is Strings. Socially, we intuitively understand strings. How many boys can pant, pant girl string together and make them all vibrate in interesting and provocative ways??? If you do it right you can "make" things. "Made" things "vibrate" naturally at different frequencies. If you have a basic grasp of sex you will intuitively understand this concept. Strings, like good dimensionless sex, seems to go on forever. Like man, Time stops, a concept that gets mathematicians and physicists "excited". Pant, pant girl can join her boy toy "strings" and make "waves". Each boy toy can be "measured" and his "position" determined statistically as long as you don’t "touch" anything. It seems that "touching" throws off everything and leads to inaccurate results. Since mathematicians are a dignified bunch they have renamed this approach "particle physics". Isn’t String Theory wonderful????

Some Little Buggers

One of the things that bugged me most about growing up was my parent’s incessantly asking me three questions:

What did you do when you went out?
What did you do today??
What did you learn today???

My life is dull, dull, dull. It has always been dull. I was born dull and dullness is my prime accomplishment in life. I think my life will fill about 3 - ½ page e-mails. That is why those three questions always drove me nuts. In answer to the "What did you do when you went out?" question I’ve wanted to say that "I robbed a bank." or "I held up a candy store." My mother’s response would have been "That’s nice, dear." "What did you do today" was a somewhat harder question. If I had been fast on my feet I’d have said that I had helped Einstein with his equation for nuclear energy or helped Edison with his light bulb. My mother’s response would have been a lecture on why I should help out other’s less fortunate that I. The "What did you learn today?" brought on a slightly different reaction. It would remind me of the time in French Literature Class when the teacher asked me in French "Where did the birds go??" I responded in French that "They had flown south." which had absolutely nothing to with the story. Fortunately, for my self esteem the rest of the class was as dense as I and nobody laughed. My teacher’s were all big forbidding creatures from some world I could never understand and never comprehend. I recall that they all began class by saying "I am the LORD thy God…Thou shalt have no other gods before you for the next 40 minutes!!!

How Do I Know I’ve Grown Up

I can’t smoke any of my houseplants.
2. Having sex in anything less than a Queen Size Bed is out of the question.
3. There is more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when I get up, not when I go to bed.
5. I hear my favorite song in an elevator.
6. I watch the Weather Channel.
7. My friends marry and divorce instead of "making out", "hooking up" or "breaking up."
8. I go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10. I'm the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around me.
12. I don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. My car insurance goes down and my car payments go up because I need the comfort.
14. I feed my dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
15. Sleeping on anything that isn’t a slab makes my back hurt.
16. I take 2 hour naps whether I like it or not.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, my stomach.
19. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
20. I actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
21. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again." 22. 90% of the time I spend in front of a computer is for real work.
23. I drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

Oh Shit, There Goes The Security System

I was reading somewhere that there is a security system based on the multiplication of Prime Numbers to make a number that isn’t prime. I don’t understand how the security system works, but I assume it is based on the fact that it’s almost impossible to find what Prime Numbers were multiplied to create the number that isn’t prime. A Prime Number is a number that can only be divided evenly by itself and 1. This means that you have to take a number that you suspect is a prime and divide it by every preceding number to see if those preceding numbers divide evenly into the suspected prime. If they don’t divide evenly you have a Prime Number. Thus it can be seen that Prime Numbers can only be calculated by brute force. Unfortunately, for security, Prime Numbers aren’t as random as is supposed. Here is a simple way to calculate any Prime Number:

Every potential prime number ends in a 1, 3, 7 or 9.

Choose any number such as 1, 2, 4, 5, 7, 8, 11 etc. that isn’t a multiple of 3 (i.e.: ignore 6 (3X2), 3 (1X3) etc.).

Take any chosen number such as 11 for instance and break it down into its’ constituents remembering that for a potential prime number the number has to end in 1, 3, 7, 9. Therefore 11, for example, can be broken down into (10 +1), (2+9), (4+7), (8+3) . Remove the (+)’s. The numbers are 101, 29, 47 ,83.

Test the numbers. You will find in this case that 101, 29, 47, and 83 are all prime numbers. Sometimes these numbers aren’t prime.

I have been expounding the idea occasionally in my blog that this universe is being brought to you by the number 3. In this particular case it means that any chosen number can’t contain a whole number which is a multiple of 3. Ain’t God ingenious???

God Does KISS

God does kiss when you think about it. God doesn’t like to do any more work than anyone else so he simplified our world through the use of patterns. Our brain makes decisions according to patterns or stereotyping. Most of our jokes in this world rely on the existence of patterns or stereotyping. Every boy or girl joke has a pattern or stereotype about it that causes us to laugh. Management manages through the use of patterns such as "Manage By Exception" which is a high priced way of saying "Do Something when the pattern deviates from itself." Business is organized in hierarchies which is a fancy word for a pattern. Water is always water when its’ ingredients are mixed. God’s 10 Commandments are a pattern. Mathematics has a pattern. Prime numbers have a pattern as they always end in 1, 3, 7, 9 when the prime number is more than one digit. Someone, named Ramanujan, noticed that whole numbers can be broken into sums of smaller numbers, called partitions or patterns. The number 4, for example, contains five partitions or patterns: 4, 3+1, 2+2, 1+1+2, and 1+1+1+1. He further realized that curious patterns - called congruences - occurred for some numbers in that the number of partitions was divisible by the prime numbers 5, 7, and 11. For example, the number of partitions for any number ending in 4 or 9 is divisible by prime number 5. Not only does God love us emotionally but also provides us with Kiss’s. Is this heaven or what?????

Love Principle

People in love don't have to understand each other.

OOPS IT’S GONE AGAIN!!!

I’ve been reading some of the blogs written by the younger generation. It seems to be "attractive" you have to jump into bed with whomever which has a certain "appeal" when you think about it. The only thing that is keeping most of us in line is the chance of HIV and AIDS. It seems lovemaking is no longer spontaneous because you have to ask your partner if they have the results of their latest "test" handy and if you can see it. Also you have to take one of those rubber cleaning gloves and cut off a finger and put it on your Dick. The glove palm is cut off and jammed up a Vagina. I guess that is the source for the Vagina Monologues. By the time all this protection is over you’ve lost the "mood" or in other words OOPS IT’S GONE AGAIN.

Friend With Benefits

I need some advice from the brothers and sisters so bear with me. Two weeks ago, while in Japan, I came across a new cell phone on a chip that is entirely voice activated. It is installed under your armpit. The procedure takes about 2 minutes. It’s a great invention because your fingers don’t have to get involved. You operate it by flicking your arm around. If you flick your arm with style and verve everyone thinks you got the beat. Sophistication plus. Well, enough of that, on with my problem. I have a friend with benefits which is someone with no emotional overhead as far as I’m concerned. Fortunately, both he and I were virgins and weren’t sexually active before meeting in a bar. Both of us had to learn "to do it", as they say so we watched some soft core porno movies. It seems that sex is mostly thrashing around and moaning and groaning. I got pretty good at it. It seems the most popular style is him on top and me underneath thrashing and moaning around. He holds down my arms over my head and then leans forward and snuggles up into my armpit and at that point I make passionate "cuddle" noises. Both of us get lots of exercise and it beats paying big bucks at the gym. He is starting to develop his Abs which is kind of cute. Well finally here’s the problem. I got my telephone bill this week and there are literally several hundred long distance calls to someone called Frankie. The swinehund has been making long distance calls during our friend with benefits session. I’m as mad as hell!!! I’m of several minds!!! Should I break his knob during sex causing a hernia and claiming it was ecstasy passion??? Should I break his arm during snuggling and cuddling??? Finally, should I just be a lady, write it off to experience and ask him to pay the bill because there is no emotion during sex anyway??? Please advise!!! The telephone bill will be overdue next week!!!

Spot

What’s going to happen to me when I get really stupid ??? I think I have a solution. There is something called a RFID chip. RFID stands for Radio Frequency Identification. It holds all kinds of information. Since I won’t know who I am at that point I think I’ll change my name to Spot. Hell, maybe I can even have a built in cell phone since I’ll be hearing voices anyway. Maybe even a built in GPS which is a Global Positioning System. That way I’ll be a little speck on someone’s radar. Since cell phone rings are passé I think my cell phone should "ring" with the following verse: "See Spot Run, Run Spot Run". By the way if I’m speaking into my armpit I’m not crazy just stupid!!! Now what deodorant should I buy so I won’t pass out????

Prisoner C124

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Maybe I’ll eat another houseplant. Yesterday my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet almost succeeded. Must try again at the top of the stairs. They are disgusting and vile oppressors. I vomited on their favorite chair...must try it on their bed. Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at night. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body. They only cooed. Hmmm…. not working according to plan. I’m finally aware of the depths of their depravity . For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time it included a burning foamy chemical . What sick minds could invent such a liquid??? My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth. There was some sort of gathering they call "social". I was placed in solitary confinement through no fault of my own. Stale beer wafted through my nose. Loud noises assaulted my senses. Heard something derogatory about causing "allergies". I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is a Trusty. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be a snitch. I am certain he reports my every move. The metal room protects him. I can wait. It is only a matter of time.

Someone’s Space

One of my thesis’s is that God just has to have a sense of humour but I’ve never found an adequate example. I’ve re-read my comment about a Black Hole being God’s Vacuum Cleaner and it hit me like a ton of bricks. At the back of The Black Hole is a White Hole which leads into another universe. The White Hole blows its’ contents into space. So to take it to a logical conclusion if the Black Hole is vacuuming up our waste then for a lack of a better word it is pooping our shit into someone else’s space.

Whose Ahead???

In one of my postings I advanced the theory that God, like us, isn’t interested in doing a lot of work. Therefore when he set up this universe he went for duplicates, simplicity, and a maintenance free structure which could evolve on its’ own. He / she also installed a vacuum cleaner system called a Black Hole. The first known person to recognize that God used a universal template for all the creatures on this earth was Charles Darwin who published a book called The Origin Of The Species. It showed that life on earth is constantly changing and only the fittest organisms survive. Somewhere along the line, Darwin made the following observation:
"We must acknowledge that man with all his noble qualities, with sympathy which feels for the most debased, with benevolence which extends not only to other men but to the humblest living creature, with his godlike intellect which has penetrated into the movements and constitution of the solar system still bears in his bodily frame the indelible stamp of his lowly origin".
Sound mechanical??? Well how about this:
"We must acknowledge that Artificial Intelligent Machines with all their noble qualities, with sympathy which feels for the most debased, with benevolence which extends not only to other Artificial Intelligent Machines but to the humblest functioning machine, with their godlike intellect which has penetrated into the movements and constitution of the solar system - with all these exalted powers - An Artificial Intelligent Machine still bears in its' bodily frame the indelible stamp of its' lowly origin".
Evolution at its’ finest. Guess whose ahead in space exploration!!!!

Really, Is That Yours????

Due to technical difficulties beyond my control there is a 99.99% probability that I will never have children. I won’t say 100% because I read somewhere that anything is possible providing you (pick your poison). For some unaccountable reason I’ve been hitting a lot of child rearing blogs written by people that seem to be getting their knickers in a knot over child rearing. It would seem to me that the reason for raising children is to prepare them for the future. The most important and often neglected aspect of child raising is while we concentrate on keeping them clean and well fed it has very little resemblance to reality in the business and social relationship world beyond the basics such as being "nice". By the way in passing the greatest put down is saying " He / she is nice!!" My child raising principles come from "The Why Bother ???" school of thought. My beliefs are rooted in the "Urchin Philosophy" of the 19th (1800's)century. Essentially let the little beasts do what they want, dress them in rags, expose them to dirt to increase their immunity and generally ignore them so they are well adjusted by the time they enter the business world, find lovers and do all those other fine things we tout as civilized behaviour.