The Ultimate Joke

The universe cycles through order, chaos and restoration. After thinking about it for awhile it suddenly occurred to me, that the universe is a Bell Curve. The middle 2/3rds where you and I spend most of our time to a greater or lesser degree is Chaos, and the outer 1/3rd’s is 1/6th Order on one side and 1/6th Restoration on the other side for a grand total of 1/3rd. For instance murder and various forms of mayhem occupy our communications systems such as newspapers, e-mails, text messaging, round table discussions in the form of problem solving / gossip etc.. Business is a competitive game in which someone is always trying to get the advantage over someone else. Don’t even mention relationships!!!! Thousands of books, philosophies, religions including the Bible tell us how to extract ourselves from Chaos. Nothing in our chaotic 2/3rds is 100%. We try to develop rules / procedures / philosophies etc. to solve the problems but nothing is guaranteed to work all the time / every time . Most of us believe in God / some omnipotent being that has enough interest in us to get us out of our current pot of water. Most of us believe in life after death / spirituality etc. because it would be awfully galling to think we’re putting out all this effort and there aren’t any prospects, as they used to say in genteel society. Let’s face it, none of us entered this world bringing material goods and we aren’t going to take any out. Yet we rush around trying to accumulate stuff like mad and generally trying to stick it to our compatriots. Perhaps that is the ultimate joke!!!!!

Love In A Nutshell

Men propose, Women dispose.

Karma Jazz

There are 3 types of Karma. The first type of Karma is positive. Think positive thoughts, do positive stuff. Send it out in all directions. Positive thoughts / deeds creates positive Karma. Negative Karma is second. Negative Karma is the pits. Bad Karma. Bad Jazz. Hole Karma is the third type. No positive or negative charges. You’re just chilling out with thoughts in neutral. Something happens and you’re in a gigantic, random hole. You’ve just been slugged by a bit of randomness..

Relatively Simple

It occurred to me the other day that God, in her wisdom, constructed this universe based on the number 3 to keep things relatively simple. There are lots of examples from simple lists to the more complicated stuff. Take creation for instance. It is generally thought that creation started with a big bang. So to keep it simple, we start with a super dense point / ball / particle. Perhaps it was a spinning point / ball / particle and one day for reasons best known to God, it simply peeled out in strips like an onion in various directions / dimensions creating space, time and gravity. So up to now we have a spinning point / ball / particle that transforms into a strip or a string and the spinning part becomes a vibration because it is a string / wave. The different vibrating waves with the residual point / ball / particle on either end creates stuff including us, living entities and things in general. This stuff which includes everything can be thought of a Frame. So once again we have 3 things, particles, waves, and frames. We have developed language / concepts to call particles, waves and frames different things so we don’t get all confused. Your and my vibrations are called charisma. Living entities such as animals etc. have characteristics which at its’ simplest are vibrations. Inanimate objects have properties which are simply vibrations. Time, Space, and Gravity are simply vast vibrating waves that give them their characteristics. You and I are surrounded by particles and vibrating waves and in order to be successful in life we must learn to influence / control these particles / people / living entities / events etc. by thinking positive thoughts. So life, my friends, at a quantum level, is relatively simple.

In A 100 Years????

Our universe naturally cycles through order, chaos and restoration. Our task, as occupants of the universe, is to keep everything in order including ourselves. To do it, we must manipulate the surrounding energy fields by thinking positive at all times as well as doing positive things. Positive thinking means that we must have positive thoughts. No can’t’s, do doubts, no regrets, no what if’s, could have’s, should have’s. Positive things means forgiving everyone in sight. Just believe that everyone is trying to do the best they can as they stumble around driving your crazy. Remember everyone isn’t as bright as you and everyone doesn’t have a grasp of the problem. Just be forgiving. I always ask myself " Does it really matter in 100 years?????" You will soon find that very few things fulfill that criteria.

25 Reasons Why True Love Is What It Is

True Love is never having to say you’re sorry.

True Love is never having to remember anything including birthdays.

True Love is never having to massage egos.

True Love is neglect.

True Love is ignoring one another.

True Love is full of faults.

True Love is I Am.

True Love is You Are.

True Love is Just Is.

True Love is Timeless

True Love is Forever

True Love is "1"

True Love is Separation From Oneself.

True Love is Desertion From Oneself.

True Love is Never Having To F**k With The Relationship.

True Love Never Lets Anyone Else F**k With The Relationship.

True Love lets you get emotional about everyone else.

True Love is unconditional.

True Love is selfless

True Love is organized, directed and run by God.

True Love lets you be yourself.

True Love has no boundaries

True Love is letting you miss someone else.

True Love is letting you be stupid.

True Love encourages dumb lists like this one.

Smile Prescription

Take two smiles and call me in the morning because:

1 The world generally smiles with you.

2 Everyone thinks that you see something on them that isn’t right.

3 If you smile in business meetings, everyone thinks you haven’t got a proper understanding of the problem.

4 Smile at your enemies because it drives them nuts.

5 Smile when being presented with a problem, because the presenter will think you’re hopelessly stupid and will leave you alone.

6 Smile when someone explains something to you, because they will start to think that it is a simple problem to understand and they should go work it out for themselves before they end up embarrassing themselves.

7 Smile and energy / spirits / God smile on / with you.

8 Smile and everyone thinks you’re up to something fun and slightly devious.

9 Smile and give some of your facial muscles a well deserved rest.

10 Smile and everyone thinks you can handle problems.

11 Smile and everyone leaves you alone because they think you’re nuts.

Relationships

Some people satisfy your physical and / or psychological needs. The physical is obvious like in nice Abs. The psychological is harder, because most of us don't know ourselves. That is why it's difficult to describe why you love someone, except in physical terms and motherhood statements.

And It Came To Pass

In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream andMagnums..

And Satan said "You want hot fudge with that? and Man said"Yes!"

And Woman said "I'll have one too with chocolate chips".

And lo they gained 10 pounds.

And God created the healthy yogurt that woman might keep the figure that man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them.

And Woman went from size 12 to size 14.

So God said "Try my fresh green salad".

And Satan presented Blue Cheese, dressing and garlic croutons on the side.

And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said "I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them".

And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped lobster chunks and chicken fried steak, so big it needed its own platter, and Man's cholesterol went through the roof.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition.

Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt.

And Man put on more pounds.

God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose those extra pounds.

And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels.

And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.

Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created McDonalds and the $1.35 double cheeseburger.

Then Satan said "You want fries with that?" and Man replied "Yes, And supersize 'em".

And Satan said "It is good." And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed ......... and created quadruple by-pass surgery.

And then ............ Satan chuckled and created HMO’s / health rules /regulations / do nothing legislation and under funded health care.

THE FINAL WORD ON NUTRITION

After an exhaustive statistical analysis based on the following research:

Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks.

Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks.

Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks.

Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks.

Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks.

The French bathe in wine and suffer fewer heart attacks.


speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Karma

Karma is similar to a trampoline that holds a blanket of energy, either light or dark. The energy, forming layers of attitude, within the trampoline frame can flex and by flexing bounces everyone else’s energy field. Your friends perceive your attitude in terms of energy patterns and make a decision to either help you or move away from you. God has designed us so that we detect energy patterns. If your energy pattern is normal, I see you as a friend / acquaintance / lover. Your intense / likable / feel good patterns tell me it is safe to be near you today. Our detection of energy patterns operates on the principle of Management By Exception. If your energy patterns don’t fit a normal pattern, I’m called upon to either accept them or move away from them. Energy patterns are the consequence of Thought. It’s the old thingy Mind creates Thought. Thought creates Illusion. Illusion creates Reality again. Mind is God within us. Thought, Illusion, Reality is the result of our taking God’s mind within us and trying to adapt it to our three dimensional world.

Life - Version 2

No matter how you slice / dice / express life it all comes down to these simply truths. God, not wanting to do any more work than you and I, has set up this universe so it is essentially self sustaining. God is available for questions, will be your friend and will mentor you providing you’re willing to do your part. It all involves energy and your ability to control it. Energy is the prime building material in this universe and if you know how to use it, physically speaking, you will be generally OK if we exclude random events. Energy comes in three forms. They are positive energy, negative energy and holes. Holes are no energy at all. We all know what it’s like when we get into a gigantic hole and need help getting ourselves out. Sometimes we think our way into a hole which doesn’t exist, except in our Mind. Mind likes fun. Mind creates thought, Thought creates illusion. Illusion creates reality. If you neglect Mind or allow your mind to diddle over the really unimportant stuff you’ve got a huge problem on your hands. We’ve all been there, done that at one time or another. Negative energy is the next big bugaboo. We all know about it. Frequently it starts out in various forms of "Woe is me." and if we really get good at "Woe is me" we can really, really, generate a lot of problems and if we’re particularly good at it, get all our friends involved and exhaust them toooooo!!!! So the only thing left is positive energy. Think positively. Thinking positively is tougher than you think. For instance, if you blame yourself, this is negative energy big time. Never, never, blame yourself. Don’t blame others either or circumstances because that just generates a lot of nasty negative energy. The solution I’ve found is to go to God and say:

"This is another fine mess you’ve got me in."

She and I have a good laugh and then I get back to my shovel and see if I can dig my way out of it. If I run into problems I say to God " Got any hints??????" Sometimes, she just lets me work my own way out of it in the hopes I permanently learn something for a change!!!!

Energy

Energy is the prime building material in this universe. It’s massless when still. When it moves it has kinetic energy or force. Energy, as a force, can roll itself into a clump and become a particle / object. You and I are essentially a clump of energy. If a clump of energy starts to move then part of the energy comes out of the clump and is used to move the clump around. If a clump of energy remains stationary, over time, that clump of energy will change because energy naturally flows out of the clump. If the energy flows out of the clump because the clump is deteriorating or if it is moving then this flowing out of energy forms a wave surrounding the clump of energy. Energy, in this form, resembles a series of parallel strings. The faster that a clump of energy travels the more it converts to a wave until at the speed of light it is a complete wave. That is why we say a clump of energy or anything in general cannot go faster than the speed of light because at the speed of light any clump of energy is completely converted into a wave. Therefore we can say that energy exists as a clump / charge up to the speed of light, and at the speed of light the former energy clump exists as a wave. That is why light, which is essentially a wave, always travels at the speed of l86,000 miles / hr. but has characteristics of both a particle and a wave. Over the speed of light energy converts completely into frames which have the characteristics of gravity, space and time. Gravity, space and time exist as frames below 186,000 miles / hr. because if they didn’t there would be no anything including you and I. Any energy in the form of a force or a clump tends to drag or distort gravity, space and time whether it spins or moves in a relatively straight line. If gravity, space or time didn’t distort then you and I couldn’t exist / move.

In summary, energy exists in three states:

Clump
Wave
Frame

Frames

Frames fascinate me. A frame is just like a picture frame. Just imagine if everything in this universe including you and I were surrounded by a picture frame but we couldn’t see it. Our three picture frames in this universe are Space, Gravity, and Time. Space, Gravity and Time are constructed using different layered particles with different properties. These particle layers have the ability to flex but don’t move out of the way of energy in a random pattern. Energy is the prime building material in this universe. It’s massless when still. When it moves it has kinetic energy or force. It can clump and form particles with various properties. Space layers respond by flexing in the presence of the kinetic energy of massless energy when it moves and becomes a massless force. Gravity layers respond by flexing in the presence of moving massless energy which give the massless energy the illusion of having weight, mass and charge. Time layers hold living entities, particles, objects, processes, waves and charges in place. When the Time layer flexes it gives the illusion that Time passes at different speeds around living entities, particles, objects, processes, waves and charges. The universe is also expanding and as the Time Frame or Time Field has to expand as the universe expands then the energy must come from everything within the various Time Frames or Time Fields. This taking of energy from the Time Frame / Time Fields causes chaos or deterioration in the Time Field which we all have experienced in one way or another. Growing old or things deteriorating / falling apart are examples of this phenomena. Time therefore exists and can be felt in terms of what it does, but it cannot be seen as it doesn’t reflect light. Time, therefore, is our missing Dark Matter. Observers in different Time Frames see things happening in other Time Frames according to the conditions of their own Time Frames or Frames Of Reference. Things in the other Time Frames may be happening differently because of different things going on in that Frame Of Reference. The information carried to each observer in the different Time Frames would travel at the same velocity which is 186,000 mph.. The precise information carried between the Time Frames would be dependent on the conditions of the original Time Frame and what happened during the journey from one Time Frame to the other Time Frame. Time Frames are our undiscovered Dark Matter as they are physical in nature but aren’t affected by any known phenomena that can be measured. Dark Energy is the Energy that is pushing the Time Plates apart. We can, however, see both presence’s through the expansion of the universe.

Gravity

Gravity is energy in the form of a Frame. The Gravity Frame is organized in energy layers and the energy layers flex which gives the illusion that people / objects have Mass, Weight or Charge. These energy layers function exactly like an electrical field in principle except in this case it is a Gravity Field. If energy is in the form of a Gravity Frame or Gravity Field it must have a mathematical value. I’ve arbitrarily chosen the figure EXP(-137) or 3.174358547 E -60 to represent energy mathematically in the form of a Gravity Frame or Gravity Wave. If gravity is in the form of energy layers within a frame then the frame and energy layers would distort when something passes through them similar to a magnetic field which oscillates or distorts but doesn’t physically move from that position when something passes through it. The Gravity Field would oscillate at a Frequency when something affected it either through movement or position. Rapid frequency oscillations of a Gravity Field would be seen by us as velocity or acceleration. If the object in the Field was stationary than the (particle or object charge) X the wave energy (EXP(-137) would appear to us as Weight, Mass or Charge. The object in the Field would appear to have Mass, Weight or Charge from our viewpoint because of the distortion created as the wave or plate flexed due to the presence of the particle mass / energy concentration. If the object / energy concentration moved it would distort the field. The nature of the distortion would give us the direction in which the object was moving. The field distortion would appear to us as velocity or acceleration if it’s velocity or direction was changing the Field over Time. The field distortion would be equivalent to Force in Newton’s equation:

Force = Mass X Acceleration.

Since Mass is really Energy and Acceleration is really the change in frequency of the Gravity Field then the formula could be rewritten as:

Force = (change in energy) X (change in frequency)

or

Force = d(energy) X d (frequency).

Inertia happens because there is a delay in changing the length, width and height requirements of the frame or field in our universe. Sufficient energy must be gathered before a change can take place. That is why perpetual motion is impossible under our present, known technology.

Basic Car Truths

I’ve been looking for a replacement car for the last two weeks because my old one has developed a more obstinate personality which means it won’t start about every month. I suspect it is computer related. To add insult to injury the car had the gall to readily start the last time at the dealers after I had it towed!!! My dealer has a remarkable fish eye as his brain says "Stupid Car Owner" with all the requisite body language shouting "sincerity" at me . I don’t know about your car, but if you look under the hood good luck on figuring out what is wrong with it or alternately getting at whatever you need to get at in order to repair it. The battery and the alternator is about the only thing you can still see with the old eyeball. Everything else including the spark plugs are hidden from view. So here my dear readers are some basic car truths that may also affect you wherever you live on the planet:

Prices Consistent at all dealers.

No discount for cash.

Most dealers are priced to lease - Car can be bought or abandoned at end of lease. Usual leasing APR is 5.9%.

Most dealers are priced to own.- Either buy car at guaranteed price at end of lease or buy car at end of lease which doesn’t include taxes, reconditioning etc.. Priced to own is lower if you agree to pay larger payment to buy car at end of lease (buy car at end of lease which doesn’t include taxes, reconditioning etc.. )

Warranty should cover leasing period because consumer has no access to engine parts including spark plugs etc. and each car has its’ own proprietary computer that only the dealer can analyze / repair. To add to the fun most independent garages are disappearing because they can’t afford the specialized tools / software /computers to repair each manufacturer’s vehicle / models.

Most warranties are geared to 48 months for maximum efficiency in relation to warranty length.

Maximum kilometers are 20,000 / yr.

Car is designed on average to be problem free for about 5 years after which tires / rubber timing belts have to be replaced.

In return for reasonable lease payments ( $300 - $400 ) on average for an acceptable vehicle, lessee agrees to pay for normal maintenance such as oil changes and wear and tear items not covered by warranty.

Consumer is tied to car dealer so better make sure there are lots of car dealers in convenient locations that handle that make.

Average acceptable leased car with automatic and air conditioning which may or may not include extra doodads such as automatic door locks, keyless entry etc. is priced around $24,000.

If you buy used you run the risk that if a car won’t start that it involves the car’s computer which is almost impossible to fix because the computer has integrated computer chips. This means that the whole computer has to be replaced or a computer board has to be replaced. Most mechanics aren’t good at diagnosing computer problems beyond finding sensors for which there is no argument that they have definitely have stopped working. Heaven help you if it is an intermittent glitch that only appears when the mechanic isn’t present. Really have heaven help you if the car manufacturer is no longer manufacturing computers for that car due to age. Most manufacturers stop manufacturing replacement parts for cars after 7 - 10 years. The secondary market may continue to manufacture car parts for the popular makes but highly doubtful for computers for popular makes. There may be generic computers manufactured but the car’s wiring harness may have to be modified because the wiring harness isn’t compatible with the computer’s ports.

The World Trade Center on 911

September 11th is the 254th day of the year: 2 + 5 + 4 = 11

The date of the attack: 9/11 - 9 + 1 + 1 = 11

After September 11th there are 111 days left to the end of the year.

119 is the area code to Iraq/Iran. 1 + 1 + 9 = 11`

Twin Towers - standing side by side, resemble the number 11

The first plane to hit the towers was Flight 11 State of New York - The 11th State added to the Union

New York City - 11 Letters

Afghanistan - 11 Letters

The Pentagon - 11 Letters

Flight 11 - 92 on board - 9 + 2 = 11

Flight 77 - 65 on board - 6 + 5 = 11

George W. Bush - 11 letters

Ramzi Yousef - 11 Letters (convicted of the attack on the WTC in 1993)

And...Jesus Christ - 11 letters

American Airlines Flight 11
This Boeing 767 could have had up to 351 people aboard, but only carried 92. 9+2=11
74% of the seats were empty. 7+4+11

United Airlines Flight 175
Another Boeing 767 that could have sat 351 people only had 65 people on board. 6+5=11

And strangest of all (9 - 1 - 1) is the common emergency number in the telephone system to be dialed if you’re in trouble!!!!

Ego

The ego tends to get a bad rap. It is a highly specialized mechanism. The ego has no spiritual / social component. Ego is our automatic mechanism for survival in 3 dimensions plus Time. It simply reacts to threats coming in because ego is designed for survival. Ego has no memory so it cannot modify its’ response in terms of what worked or didn’t work previously. Ego is simply a forward looking. all or nothing, mechanism that responds to all incoming missiles for lack of a better analogy. Ego is self actualizing because if the threat is real there is no prolonged "thinking" time. Ego was essential for survival in more primitive times because there was no safety net and everyone was living under threats. Even in your clan everyone fought for dominance which meant that ego was continuously activated. We see the same mechanism in animals which, generally speaking, have primitive social structures for establishing dominance. No civilized voting here. Dominance in the animal world is simply based on physical strength / native cunning because forging for food is the operative task next to improving your clan’s chances through reproduction for survival. We see the same principle operating in some aggressive people today. The yang component is karma. Karma is the spiritual element that resides outside the three dimensions plus Time. Karma is ego’s brake that responds by instigating events proportional to the results of ego’s unthinking response to perceived threats, whether they actually existed or not. Looking back on my life, I accidentally stumbled across how the system worked. I tended to let people walk all over me even though I have a steel spine. Somewhere along the line I developed a relationship with God. I then discovered that God didn’t take kindly to the way some people treated me and she took steps using karma to straighten them out without any reference to me in particular; years later. Sometimes I heard about it and sometimes I didn’t. Sometimes, God did nothing because she drafted that person for other purposes. Such is one of the mysteries of life!!!!!

Time - Version 3

Time is energy in the form of a Frame. Everything within a Time Frame is composed of energy in the form of clumps (living entities / particles / objects) or waves. The Time Frame is organized in energy layers and the energy layers flex which gives the illusion that Time passes at different speeds around an energy clump or wave. These energy layers function exactly like an electrical field in principle except in this case it is a Time Field. If energy is in the form of a Time Frame or Time Field it must have a mathematical value. I’ve arbitrarily chosen the figure EXP(-139) or 4.296027131 E -61 to represent energy mathematically in the form of a Time Frame or Time Wave. The universe is also expanding and as the Time Frame or Time Field has to expand as the universe expands then the energy must come from everything within the various Time Frames or Time Fields. This taking of energy from the Time Frame / Time Fields causes chaos or deterioration in the Time Field which we all have experienced in one way or another. Growing old or things deteriorating is an example of this phenomena. Time therefore exists and can be felt in terms of what it does, but it cannot be seen as it doesn’t reflect light. Time, therefore, is our missing Dark Matter. Observers in different Time Frames see things happening in other Time Frames according to the conditions of their own Time Frames or Frames Of Reference. Things in the other Time Frames may be happening differently because of different things going on in that Frame Of Reference. The information carried to each observer in the different Time Frames would travel at the same velocity which is 186,000 mph.. The precise information carried between the Time Frames would be dependent on the conditions of the original Time Frame and what happened during the journey from one Time Frame to the other Time Frame. Time Frames are our undiscovered Dark Matter as they are physical in nature but aren’t affected by any known phenomena that can be measured. Dark Energy is the Energy that is pushing the Time Plates apart. We can, however, see both presence’s through the expansion of the universe.

Mind

Mind creates Thought. Thought creates Illusion. Illusion creates Reality.

Time Version 2

Time is not only a particle energy force holding objects / events / processes in position but also has plate / wave characteristics. The question arises as to what number did God use to build the particle Time Force / Plate / Wave????? This universe cycles through order, chaos and restoration. Order in this universe is based on the number 3. I postulate restoration is based on the Natural Logarithm "e" which has the base of 2.7182818 or almost "3" (2.7). I postulate that chaos has Pi (3.141592654) for its’ base since Pi is slightly more than 3 (3.14) and must settle down to Order with base 3. Now what exponential did God use for restoration since base "e" (2.7182818) has to be raised using some figure???? Well if we look at how God has organized Primes we will find that she has 1, 3, 7, 9 in the first column if they are, in fact, Primes. I postulate that God used 137 for Gravity so that leaves 139. EXP(-139) is (4.296027131 E -61). Excluding the exponential (E-61), you will see that (4.296027131) is slightly more than 4 (4.29). Time is the 4th dimension and hence God has given us another hint. If Time is in the form of a wave or plate then there are layers of plates which constitute a Time Frame or a Time Field. The Time Frame or Time Field holds everything on its’ surface. These everything’s are constantly moving and changing which flexes the Time Plate creating a Time Wave. These constant changes cause things to cycle through order, chaos and restoration. When something cycles through order, chaos, restoration the restoration part is not as complete as it was in the beginning of the cycle. This phenomena is popularly known as the butterfly effect and the missing energy is used to expand the universe. This taking of energy from the Time Plate surface causes chaos or deterioration which we all have experienced in one way or another. Growing old is an example of this phenomena. Objects / events / processes, change at different times in the Time Frame or in the Time Field because they are anchored with different strengths (Time Strength X EXP(-139) = Time Length). There is also a phenomena called Time Bending which affects physical entities that have mass or weight. The formula for Time Bending in this case is (Particle Mass) X EXP(-139).