Back on August 21st , in a blog titled "Life & / Or Success Needs Lies To Function" I mentioned that our brain works on the principle of pattern analysis or management by exception. For instance, If you walk down the street you automatically notice the person that is not conforming to standard patterns whether it be in the physical or mental realm. Another way to look at it is to say that our mind is wired for stereotypical or patterned thinking based on statistical analysis of a group of objects. The best way to demonstrate this principle is contained in the question "How do you tell when someone of the opposite sex is attracted to you"? Simple question, but hard to answer. Basically, each sex has to learn to send out the proper signal which is most likely to be received by the intended target (boy / girl) without causing other receivers (boy / girl companions) to pick up and create "noise" that causes the the intended receiver (boy / girl to respond in a manner to protect her standing with her boy / girl companions. In other words, subtlety at all costs. The best way if you see someone is to reconnoiter first and try to come up with a way to "casually" meet him / her in an innocuous way as possible without raising alarm bells. For instance, if he / she frequents a book store stand close to him / her without invading his / her space and then casually pick up a book and off handedly make a comment (fake like hell) that can allow a conversation to continue if he / she thinks you are worthwhile. Another way is to borrow your friends dog if he / she has a dog and walk the dog right past him / her. Usually you can come up with a comment on how nice his / her dog or if all else fails subtlely allow the dogs to become involved so that he / she is forced to talk to you. If completely disperate get the dogs entangled with each other and at least have some fun. If none of these ruses are possible try meeting him / her while out walking, saying hello to begin with and gradually adding words as you continue to meet him / her. The last problem is how do I know if I’m getting anywhere if his / her body language has left me clueless?? Subtlely look into his / her eyes. If the window to his / her soul is transmitting a "Your toast" message you have lost. If the window to his / her soul says "You’re interesting, but you need work" you’ve been accepted into his / her life!!
1 comment:
If u formalise/formualate this process of 'sending signals', through a set of pre-defined and timetested 'axioms' ( ;- ), doesnt the whole process become routine and mundane? Just imagine how would it be if every 3rd or the 4th person falls in love or finds a soulmate through his/her dog! Isnt that pattern boring?
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